I want to give you a secret; a tiny secret that helped me achieve a perfect life. Anyone who has not tried this thing which I call “the secret” can bewail after seeing its simplicity. Learning this secret is so easy. What about practicing? It is your job!
First of all, before practicing this secret, you must look at the mathematics of how you spend your life. Let me give you an example: I feel good if I sleep eight hours a day, but seven hours also works for me. If I sleep six hours, I am not productive that day.
So, I spend one third (8 hrs.) of my day sleeping, and eleven hours at work and commuting from home to include an hour for lunch break aka I am still in the work environment. What’s left for me? Five wonderful hours in my day!
The first step of my formula is simple: Since we cannot change the fact that a day consists of 24 hours, we can add something that we like into those five remaining hours. Of course, you have to prepare meals, tidy the kitchen, prepare for the next day, and make your house a cozy place. When I was living alone, I spent all these hours cleaning the house, cooking meals, and washing and ironing clothes. Thank God, in a short time, I realized why people say “housework is thankless”!
As a result, I added some activities to fill these precious hours. My new hobbies became sports and dance. I found that spending a few days a week with these hobbies did not make me tired but energized. I also balanced these physical activities with some peaceful and relaxing ones. I’m stumped to tell you how it makes me feel to indulge in a hobby. As time passes, you realize you are becoming an expert in the things that were once only fun for you. I may be exaggerating, but in addition to revealing your potential, you begin to believe that you can succeed in whatever you want. Just try and see! I do not polish the floors so often now, but my house remains a cozy place. I do not have so much time to watch TV, but believe me I do not feel its absence.
The second step of my formula is change: Within the hours that you cannot change, such as at work, create ways of doing something different. You can be sure this will create awareness in some areas of our lives where we are on remote control. For example, I sign lots of documents in a work day—a routine duty anyone would like to finish as soon as possible. I don’t need to think about it, and after signing lots of documents, I begin to forget my own signature. However, this boring task acts as one of the most joyous times for me at work. With each signature I imagine I hear warm-hearted words from my loved ones: “I love you, Pınar…I miss you, Pınar…I am proud of you, Pınar…” This is the most conscious affirmation I ever make, and I repeat these affirmations during all the hours I spend at work!
Throughout my life I’ve always tried to change the things that I cannot fully change. Now I find that I only need to change me. We can pursue any kind of job, but the course of our life relates to the type of person we are, not what job we hold, possessions we own or people around us.
We must first know who we are, and the second perhaps—the last step—transform into who we would like to be. This may be a life-long journey, but a joyful one. I agree with those who assert life should be better: It is always possible to have a perfect life!

Pinar Derinbay Yükselci