I get messages all the time from people who want to change some things in their lives and say “I don’t know where to start?” Fundamentally, coaching is not about giving answers but more about expanding one’s perspective by asking questions. It’s about someone finding their own answers. Nevertheless, I’ve listed below a few points to guide you and for your consideration:
Thinking starts with questions. Those who change their questions, also change their thoughts, actions and results. I give only two categories to these questions: the disempowering ones and the empowering ones. For instance, the question of “Why can’t I climb a tree; why can’t I do that?” reeks disempowerment; whereas, “How can I climb a tree, how can I do that?” empowers you. While the first question puts you in a vortex, the second question puts you in action and moves you out of your current situation. Asking questions towards your desired situation creates more benefits than trying to figure out the reasons.
Thoughts and Expressions
“I would like to climb a tree, but I can’t.” Your expression in this sentence does not serve your desire. Namely, you cannot climb a tree by saying “I cannot climb”; saying this has no benefit for climbing a tree. Moreover, as if you are holding a megaphone in your hand, you are exclaiming to the whole universe and to all your cells, “I won’t do it.” Instead of broadcasting the negative, take the first step by repeating phrases like “I am ready to climb the tree.” “I have the intention to climb the tree.” Thereafter, you move your focus towards doing—action.
The Smallest Steps
Ask yourself, “What is the smallest step I could take to climb a tree?” Many answers would cross your mind, e.g., put on sneakers, choose a smaller tree.
No matter how many times you have tried, always keep your focus on “doing” even if you are not getting the results you are after. If you fail, you have just learned another way of how not to climb a tree! After your attempts you may ask yourself the following: In every attempt, have I tried to climb the tree via the same spot and in the same way? What have I learned from my experience? For the next time, what can I do differently?
If there are people who have already climbed that tree or a similar tree, you could get support from them. You could learn about how they climbed, what type of obstacles they encountered, and how they managed to overcome them.
You could read this article one more time by replacing the example of “climbing a tree” with any type of subject in which you want success.
One day, we went camping in a deserted place. Due to the impossibilities, we were saying, “We can’t do this.” One of my friends declared, “What are you talking about? Some people are riding to Mars in a special vehicle!” Whenever a person comes to me and says “I can’t do,” this remark about “Some people are riding to Mars” comes to my mind. Therefore, I get very surprised when I see people who want to climb a tree but are unable to do just that.
As a last word: Reconsider whether you really want to climb the tree or not!