We have forgotten to enjoy life. From childhood, we try to accomplish the goals set for us.
Instead of bringing our talents and intelligence to light, we are constantly in a competition as if we have to be perfect. The more we compete, the more we compare. The more we compare, the more deficient we feel, and we become unhappy.
Osho says, “A blade of grass is needed as much as the biggest star. Without the blade of grass, God would be less than he is. The sound of the cuckoo is needed as much as any Buddha, because the world would be less, would be less rich, if this cuckoo disappeared. Just look around. All is needed, and everything fits together.”
We are self-sufficient and beautiful in every way. However, we are taught so many “shoulds,” such as “you should be successful” and “you should be beautiful.” Unless we become aware of these “shoulds” and ignore them, we live the lives that others demand of us. We are expected to behave according to standards of beauty and success that are determined by others. Consequently, we are constantly hungry because our needs are never satisfied.
So, a few of us wake up and ask, “What do I want?” Those who cannot quiet the voices of others live the lives expected of them rather than pursuing their own dreams. This is such a dilemma that regardless of whether these people choose to live their own or someone else’s dreams, they still feel guilty. The proper thing to do is quiet the voices of others and start listening to our own needs.
Because we don’t know how to communicate with ourselves, we don’t know how to communicate with others either. Every time we feel angry or guilty and don’t express our feelings, it builds up inside. We remain unsatisfied because we don’t know how to convey our needs. When we remain unsatisfied, we try to get satisfaction from other things like eating chocolate, shopping, and so on.
The comparison is not only with others but also with ourselves. We don’t like the way we were yesterday. We don’t like the decisions we made. However, it is important to remember we did the best with what we knew at the time. We chose the best from the available options we had. We tend to forget this fact, and we feel guilty instead of being happy with our new broader perspective.
Of the people with guilty consciences, some want to escape, while others want to continue their suffering, because they get pleasure from it. On every occasion, they tend to focus on what they can blame themselves for. Afterwards, just like a jewelry designer, they diligently work on this blame and embellish it.
- Choose any situation
- Find something wrong with this situation
- Blend in thoughts of “I am inadequate,” “I can`t,” etc.
- Then start nicely accusing yourself… (Cancel)
If we can catch ourselves during one of these four steps, we can escape this cycle.
Remind yourself how much you are loved. Shower every part of yourself with praise when you stand in front of the mirror. Write love letters to yourself in the style of your ideal lover. Have plenty of gratitude for what you have.
If we didn’t exist, the universe would be incomplete. We are always loved. We are always perfect in every way.