Some people read poetry, which supposedly defines love, with dreamy eyes and soft music playing in the background. For reasons I didn’t understand, I have always detested this type of person, just as I do the DJ sound bites on local radio stations that say, “Love is being able to see her in the leaf of a flower, smell her…” Then there is another type of person. These people appear on national TV stations and write in newspapers! They describe love using polished and glamorous language. They become so well known that thousands buy their books—books about love. I have never favored these people, but for a very long time I didn’t know why I detested them. That is, until now. I hated them because what they talked about was not true love. There was nothing in common between their definition of love and true love, and this is what made me react. Only when I understood what true love was did I know why I refused their definitions. Wow! What did I just say? Did I say I realized what true love was? Yes! I solved it, and now I will tell you all about it.
True love is a state independent of time, place, situation, person, and relationship. It doesn’t matter where the person you love is. It has nothing to do with what that person may be doing at that moment. It isn’t important how old he or she is. It is the state you are in when you think of that person… Let me clarify by explaining to you how I arrived at this point. When I was 20 years old, I fell deeply in love and had a relationship that lasted three years. We then separated, but six or seven years later, we met again and resumed dating. We had both walked down different paths, but what I had felt for her earlier was as strong as ever. Being apart and not seeing each other for so long had not diminished this energy. It was when I realized this, I grasped what true love is. Love is not a feeling that waxes and wanes. In fact, it’s not even a feeling. It is an energy you carry within your soul. Its effects appear in the form of a “feeling.” Once you have achieved this, irrespective of any of that person’s qualities, this “infinite” is with you. Even if that person was 80 and covered in wrinkles, you would still feel as you did when you were 20. That person will always be with you, even when you leave this earth, and you will be together forever in a corner of the vast universe.
I should clarify that “the love” I am talking about has nothing to do with divine love or the love of the creator. It is love for someone you can touch, kiss, and communicate with. It is concrete. I should also add that no matter how great the love is, it has nothing to do with the state of the relationship between the two. When you meet that person, you could share two years or a lifetime. There’s no equation that says true love equals a great relationship, because true love is far from being worldly, whereas relationships are affected by our worldly conditions. Relationships can be affected by our cultures and the way we lead our lives. Our relationships are built on our fears and our deficiencies. This system leads us to believe our feelings will endure if we sign that piece of paper. I won’t even mention jealousy, egos, etc. It is not easy to feel “true love,” let alone live it among such worldly conditions. The experiences during the relationship might even make someone feel it is over. You come to think the love is over, but nothing is ever over. If anything has ended, it is the “intense infatuation” you feel when you first meet. If you ever think the love is over then, believe me, you haven’t loved at all but merely been infatuated. True love never ceases to be—it is there forever. The more inherently innocent you are, the more you will feel it. You will have no expectations such as, “When we are together, we can do this and that…” If you can lead a healthy relationship, it is perfect, but if the relationship falters, it is not a problem. The important thing is your ability to feel this “love” innocently.
Can a person feel this way only towards one person? Certainly not! One can feel true love to multiple people. In fact, our souls have trod the same path for millions of years, so it isn’t the first time we have met. This certainly does not mean you have dated and fallen in love with many people. So many times have I heard the words, “I loved her dearly, yet she chose unwisely and left, so I no longer feel anything.” If a person can utter anything like that, you can be sure he or she hasn’t tasted true love. True love is forever and can be experienced more than once. In my life, I have felt it towards two people. One I have mentioned here, and as for the other one, I married her.
Now we come to the most important question: How are you going to find that “true love”? The answer is clear-cut, but it may hurt some. You cannot find it by searching. That person will come to you when you are ready. How will you know when you are ready? Remove the “How will” from the beginning of the sentence and the question mark from the end—all that remains is, “You know when you are ready.” But let me remind you once again: true love is an energy far beyond relationships and expectations. I need not say more, because when you find “it,” you will realize all these worldly concepts are unrelated, and you will only feel “it.” Once you feel it, not with pride but with a genuine smile, you will say, “I am truly in love.”