When I observe the people in my life, I see some of them are sad, worried, and confused. They are confused because they don’t know what they want from their lives. More interestingly, they don’t even think about questioning this. I wondered if people could really avoid asking what they wanted from their lives, and I realized that it can actually happen. Let me tell you how.
Some of these people are not brave enough to go after their own dreams and desires because when they pursue their own paths, they also have to take responsibility for their lives. On the other hand, if they take steps in life according to other people’s expectations, they can then blame others for what happens in their own lives. They are afraid of taking responsibility and so failing to realize their dreams.
Most of them have an image they present to the outside world. This is usually a picture of a very strong and successful person. If they fail on their self-chosen path, they are afraid of being humiliated and losing their images, which they have spent years creating. However, the truth is that their lives are becoming lost, and instead of taking a wrong step, they choose not to take any steps at all.
The desires of the inner child and the desires of the inner parent contradict each other. If they haven’t already started managing their own lives, the voices of their parents in their ears become more dominant. Some of them worry about disappointing their parents, while others worry about not gaining approval or even not being loved. Muting the voice of the parents while activating the voice of the inner self is a process that needs to be learned.
Most of them think like this: “I can either do the work I love or the work that will earn me plenty of money.” They don’t know what happened to the careers that provided both, so they decided not to search for jobs they could both love and make considerable money from. Yet, there is one thing all wealthy people seem to agree on: If you love what you do, money will follow you anyway. Many years ago, someone asked Benetton’s PR expert, who created many popular worldwide advertisements, a question: “When do you go on vacation?” He answered by saying, “I’m on vacation every day.” What if we could seek a career where we would get as much pleasure as when we are on vacation?
Finally, some people are actually afraid of their dreams becoming true. They think they will not be able to replace their realized dream with a new dream.
So, after all this, you have decided to ask yourself what you want and take the steps you are willing to take. How will you find the answer to this question? Will you sit down and close your eyes, as if meditating, and repeat to yourself, “What do I want? What do I want?”
In my opinion, there is no need to exaggerate it like this, because the things you do with love and passion should have been clear for many years already. I don’t even remember taking breaks at school until the end of my third year at middle school, because, during every break, I used to play my flute, which I carried with me everywhere. At home, I would accompany cassettes of famous singers with my flute. This would go on for many hours. Could you force a child to do this? You see, passion is something like this. Take a look at your life, and identify the things you used to do with this much passion.
If you identify with the people I listed above, take a step toward the new. Turn your heads away from the daily hustle and bustle and search for answers to these three questions:
- How do you dream yourself being when you are ninety years old?
- Are you still walking on your current path?
- What is the smallest change you could make in your life right now that would help you reach your dream of yourself at age ninety?
Sometimes a question can change your life. You can find what you want much more easily by looking ahead a way further rather than just looking at tomorrow from today.