It involves some Family/System Constellations knowledge, a little cognitive hypnotherapy information, and a story from my family’s past that provided the inspiration for writing this article. This story, which I will share later in the article, surprised me. May it will surprise you too. Who knows?
The first thing to remember is that there is no way for everyone to earn money in the same way and in equal amounts. This will never happen. Accepting this reality can ease many things. In my opinion, this is the first door that needs to be opened!
An Ill-Fated Tragedy: The Dragon Sickness
The inspiration for the dragon Smaug in The Hobbit was the dwarf Fafnir in Scandinavian mythology. Dwarves had the habit of hiding their gold in some kind of sickness. Fafnir, however, went a step further and magically transformed himself into a dragon, so he could protect his treasure through terror.
However, Fafnir’s story doesn’t survive today because he guarded his treasure—after all, it’s normal to protect what belongs to us. It’s more about how Fafnir protected his treasure. He was so concerned with protecting it that he never allowed it to transform and prosper by spreading it to others and bringing happiness.
In Family/System Constellations, money is a constantly flowing and changing concept of trade and exchange. Hoarding money for no purpose goes against this nature, so it will slowly poison you. This is just like Fafnir’s treasure, which he guarded at all costs, and this eventually drove him insane with intoxication. The nature of money is intended to gratify ourselves but also others. You’ll better understand this article’s topic when you read my family’s story later.
Fafnir’s focus on guarding his treasure became more important than the treasure itself. It became a kind of neurotic behavior, like in modern psychology. This involves using a behavioral and cognitive model that is useless to life, and it eventually brings unhappiness and insanity. Therefore, in this cycle of neurotic behavior, Fafnir lost his personality and identity, and he became completely seized by his fears.
The Fear of not Having Money
Some thoughts become entrenched through communal hypnosis, and misunderstandings of these thoughts have spread around the world. Here’s one such example:
- “I need to save for my retirement.”
This sentence taps into traumatic memories recorded in our genes, past, and emotions. It then, erroneously, transforms into something like the following:
– “I need to cut down on something to save more money. My saving efforts are limited by my earnings, and I’ve already given up many luxuries. I must cut down on my basic needs as well, such as food and clothing. Yes, yes! I’ll cut down on everything!”
When your mentality starts to behave like this, you’ll begin to develop a form of Dragon Sickness, and the money and future you’re trying to safeguard will start to intoxicate you. Then, you’ll start to make not just yourself but also the people around you miserable and distressed, because everything we lack the courage to face will captivate and control us. The main purpose of money is to ensure continuity of life and happiness, but this can transform into valuing unhappiness, restriction, and degradation.
Considering all this, no one should assume that I’m talking about surrendering to consumerism and driving the capitalist system mad. Never! I’m talking about making good use of money instead of hoarding it in a way that causes unhappiness. There is a teaching called Buying Money with Money that awaits anyone who seeks such knowledge (See: Finance knowledge and being an investor). Of course, this is only one dimension. Discovering where the concept of money belongs in our souls will make things easier.
There’s just one thing we should never forget. A Fafnir hides inside all of us, ready to emerge from time to time. If we refuse to face this, if we deny his existence, and if we fear turning into a Fafnir one day, we’ll inevitably turn into one. It’s the nature of fear that whatever we fear captures us. While our fears come from our experiences, our anxieties are concerned with future events. Those who successfully stay in the present moment can move away from their fear and anxiety and see the reality.
Money Knowledge in Family/System Constellations
There’s a situation I’ve seen in many of the constellation practices. I’d like to mention Master Dt. Turgay Köyağasıoğlu here and pay my respects to him. He says, “If you strive for money like a child, your chance of acquiring it is very low. Even if you do acquire it, it won’t give you happiness. But if you are in harmony with life and the world, money will come to you as if you were a magnet.” The very same thing applies to many people who experience problems with money.
In some practices, two people play a scene where one represents the client and the other represents money (who doesn’t know the role he or she plays) and the harmony and dialog between them are observed. Next, someone representing life enters the scene (who also doesn’t know the role he or she is playing), and the harmony and dialog are observed again. If the person representing the client runs directly after money without attaching importance to life, we see again and again that he or she cannot reach it. Even if the system is enforced and manipulated, we see that money becomes incredibly disturbed and cannot stay in the scene (See: I do not understand where my earnings are heading to). Because of this, the client gains no pleasure from the money obtained.
So then, what does being in harmony with life and the world involve? In the most basic sense, it means living in the moment. Those who can ignore fear from the past and anxiety about the future have stepped into the moment, but there is something beyond this. Our relationships with the Mother and Father flow from the past to the present.
The mother represents life, and the father represents the world. When we look at Greek mythology, we see how the world was created by a primordial mother goddess named Gaia, but the situation is somewhat different here. For this, we need to consider Sigmund Freud’s Psychosexual Approach, and then we’ll return to the Systemic Phenomenological Approach again.
Life includes and “takes in” everything, so it is feminine and represented by the mother in our lives. This comes about because the female sexual organ is the vagina, and the role of the vagina is “to take in.” Life is much the same. It includes and embraces everything without differentiating between good or bad. Both the murderer and victim are parts of life, and there is abundance and poverty. Life includes and embraces everything.
The world, on the other hand, is a platform where we reap the harvest of what we sow. Yet without connecting it to life (the mother), there will be no harvest to reap. To sow, we need seed. We should also open the soil of the world and place our seeds in it. The soil then “takes in” the new seeds, and a harvest is produced from the soil by germinating it with the masculine factor. Scarcity often arises when the male population decreases through war. This isn’t because the women do not work. In Anatolia, for example, women commonly work in the fields. In the energy field of this world, however, males are responsible for maintaining the energy of abundance, so as their numbers decrease, abundance also naturally decreases.
To sum it up, the feminine ovum carries its own content, while the masculine sperm provides reproductive abundance by penetrating the ovum’s membrane.
Let’s return to the Systemic Phenomenological Approach (Family/System Constellations). To earn money (i.e., to “take money into your life”) relates to your relationship with the Mother. However, your business life and money skills, such as making investments, takes place in the world of the Father. The reason for this is simple. After becoming pregnant, the Mother is increasingly burdened by the weight until a time arrives when she needs to give up some duties. During her pregnancy, and even after giving birth, she will determine and control the needs of the home. The Father will work and maintain the family, and he is responsible for meeting the needs determined by the Mother. Of course, we may not see this everywhere, and it may not be as valid these days, but we still see many people suffering from this disorderly state.
To sum this up: The Mother cares for herself and her baby during pregnancy, while the Father cares for his wife and baby, as well as himself. He brings the money he earns home, and according to the needs, he uses it to create happiness and satisfaction. This is the investment he makes.
Our relationships with the Mother and Father have substantial effects on our business lives and our relationships with money, but there is more. In some cases, we need to go back to our family histories. There’s good news, however! Family/System Constellations were created for this, so you can relax.
Our Experiences Related to Money and Cognitive Hypnosis
Before introducing this subject, I want to tell you a story from my practice of Family/System Constellations. We focused on the problems I experienced with my father, so the concept of money was included in this scene, as well as my attitude toward it. The result was I that could not see my father, so I could not see money either. Neither my father nor money were there… Of course, the healing aspects of the practice were then applied, and my attitude in the scene changed. I started to see my father, and then money also became visible somehow. I still could not see it completely, however, and I was unable to touch it.
During a Family/System Constellations session in Istanbul recently, I talked about this matter with my beloved, old friend Özlem Müge Özel. She is an access bars facilitator and a well-versed, insightful personal/spiritual development mentor in my opinion. She talked about the importance of asking, “How was your first encounter with money?” I then started to comb my memories and thoughts. I then understood why I’d been unable to see or touch money in my previous Family/System Constellations session. With this question, a stopper had been removed, and the scene from my Family/System Constellations session came into light.
During my childhood, whenever my father brought money home, he never let us see or touch it. He just took it to his room and left it there. He even got angry if we talked about money, and we never knew why! Due to this past experience, I became unable to see and touch money, and this affected my future relationship with money. Thanks to the hypnosis training I later received, it hadn’t been hard to break this hypnotic structure and develop new money skills, but this self-discovery was highly significant for me. If the reality had not come out in this scene and found a niche in my mind, I probably would have remained trapped in a cognitive hypnosis that I was unable to remember. The picture had altered and completed itself.
The Last Story: There Is Someone Else’s Share in Whatever You Earn
If you are not bored to death yet, it’s time for my family story. The heroes of this story are my great-grandfather and his family.
During the war years, there wasn’t much food for people. Those who couldn’t get wheat had to find nourishment wherever they could. During the scarcity, my great-grandfather could reap his harvest and fill his granary with wheat every year. However, my great-grandfather was a very openhearted and generous person, so much so that others didn’t understand it.
Even if there were only two handfuls of wheat in his granary, he would always give one of them to someone else and say, “There are other people’s shares in our wealth. Whatever we sell is set apart. Whatever we eat is set apart, and whatever is right is set apart. This is the sum of it.” He lived like this all his life, while others kept their wheat in earthenware pots and guarded them.
One night, they heard sounds from the granary, so everybody ran over in a hurry. They thought someone was plundering it. As soon as they opened the doors, however, they saw that the earthenware pots were breaking because the wheat was multiplying by itself. They couldn’t believe their eyes. Eventually, the wheat stopped multiplying. They kept their silence and never told this story to anyone else. İt was said that if they could keep their silence about this event, their granary would completely fill with wheat again.
I was surprised when I first heard this. Did it surprise you too?