My friend, the noble son of the male sex,
I know you have completed all the strategies I recommended previously in this series. You want that woman very much, but despite all you have done, she has not shown any loving affection. I cannot say she didn’t like you, nor can I say she behaved rudely, because the spiritual woman, contrary to all other women, would never behave rudely. This is mainly because they have read so many books telling them that behaving rudely is virtually a sin. They are not able to give a straight “no,” nor can they behave frankly and ask you to leave them alone. This is because they are struggling with thoughts like, “I have to love him as well because he probably wants to teach me something.”
What seems like a disadvantage to her might be your last hope. But, on the other hand, which would be easier: To make a woman like this love you or to explain the benefits of Reiki to the Holy Inquisition of 1635? Maybe the inquisition would be easier in some ways, but whatever! My dear friend, why bother? There are so many other pretty girls around. If it isn’t meant to be, just turn around and accept it! To pursue the matter further will only hurt you, as it has hurt me. Best to leave it until the time is right. However, if you have decided to still pursue her, I will give you further instructions to save the day. This is assuming the girl has not reached the stage of utter contempt for you, because even a spiritual person has limits.
Let’s assume you had been chatting for a while, and you formed the opinion that she fancied you, while you were madly in love. You kept calling each other and sending affectionate messages. Then suddenly one day, you opened your heart to her… You felt completely sure of the situation, but the girl suddenly surprised you by saying, “But I never saw you in that way!” What to do? Let me tell you right away. The girl was aware of your feelings from the first day. These girls are spiritually far more advanced and are much more intuitive than the average girl who reads coffee cups! Hence, I am sure she knew it the first day, and even if she denies it, I am sure she enjoyed the process all along. Saying this might be tough, but believe me, although she knew she could never reciprocate your love, she enjoyed it all along and used you all the way. Later, upon seeing the seriousness of the situation, she decided to call it quits. However, right at this moment, her emotional state will be disrupted. There is still a chance of winning her heart, and it will be easier than facing the Inquisition! However, you must accept that this is going to be rather tricky and will take a lot of patience.
Before I go on, let me make the facts clear, so you can make your decision. Here is my warning: Don’t expect too much from a girl you won using manipulation. In my opinion, a decent relationship is one that develops spontaneously. Sure, on occasions, subtle tactics may be useful and chic, but you may find a deception started in despair will ultimately work against you.
Here We Go…
The first rule: Once she rejects you, don’t insist at all. Never talk about it or discuss it in any way until the right time comes. Pretend as if you have accepted the situation. Give her the message, “Things like this can never harm our ‘very special’ relationship, and we can stay as friends.” To be persuasive, you have to believe it yourself too. Then at least, if it all blows up, you can keep this belief. Your subsequent conversations should be aloof and far from sentimental. You can talk about things such as the last book of Kryon, people in your e-mail group who piss you off, and achieving world peace. Act as if you are her closest friend, but don’t forget, she will be just as superficial as you, so be cool. While she is acting as your “friend,” she is also easing her conscience, thinking, “Oh, I handled it without breaking his heart too much.”
Spiritual women have deep consciences, but because they have guilt, they melt under fears like, “I have rejected him; what if they reject me too.” They therefore try to handle the situation decently. As I said, these women, by their nature, are not like the ones who simply kick you in the ass and leave right away. Even if the man has tortured her, she leaves only when her tolerance runs out, and even then, she feels guilty for a long time. The spiritual woman is a masochist species, so you can play your role in peace. By the way, if she is really enjoying your closeness, this is an extra advantage, and it wouldn’t be a bad idea to stop at this point. But what can you do? You are desperate and there’s nothing else that can be done… While your friendship continues, you should prepare the right environment for using your best tactic, which is the backbone of your strategy. This is something that no woman can easily ignore: Another woman!
It’s Getting Hot…
Spiritual or not, almost all women lose control and get annoyed at this point: The moment when another woman comes into her life. Imagine the confrontational moment when two female cats come across each other and start spitting. These women will regard each other in the same way cats do, even if they appear to be cordial. This is especially true when there is a man in between who has liked her before. Even if she never thought of it, she may find herself struggling, and this is going to be your biggest advantage. What you have to do at this point is use the other woman.
The most effective way to get what you want is to really get close with another girl and include your “best friend” in this process. If this girl is just as desirable as the other is, and maybe even has some advantages, all you have to do is step back and watch what happens. This is a natural “defect” in women and essentially reflects the instinct: “To produce the best offspring, I have to be the best.” The “best offspring” concept has changed as civilization developed and transformed into “I have to get the best man.” No matter how “firm” you are, the principal criteria that makes you “the best man” is the reference of another woman. I have said before, womankind is a species that uses other women as a reference. As everyone knows, when a man has a beautiful woman with him, people think, “He has to have something.”
When you get closer to a very beautiful girl and start sharing this with your “close friend,” she will start thinking, “He has to have something I missed; I should have a second look.” If she doesn’t, it means this girl truly doesn’t want you, but to be honest, I have yet to meet anyone who hasn’t thought like this or at least started comparing themselves to your new companion.
There is a regrettable cruelty here: Your relationship with the other girl. You could tell your “close friend” about an imaginary woman, but things will only really happen when the two women meet face to face, so you need a real, flesh-and-blood woman. This girl could be a close friend of yours that is unknown to your other “close friend.” You could make a deal with her to pretend, but womankind can smell these things, with the spiritual one being like an Afghan hound, so it is very likely she will sense the deception. So, at this point, you will be obliged to create a real relationship. Indeed, if you have the potential to find a beautiful girl, I suggest you just carry on with that girl; but if you are obsessed and determined to get that “close friend,” I say do as you wish.
Don’t think, “I’ve done so much to get the spiritual woman. How much more will I have to do to get the other one?” It will be easier with the other one. Because you have someone else in your heart, you will become indifferent to your surroundings, and this will make you attractive in the eyes of other women. Because your intention is clear, the universe will probably send you a woman better suited to you. Don’t forget to thank everyone who participated in your venture once everything is over! As you may have gathered, it is very likely you will find someone else.
Once you find this other woman, to use her in this venture seems cruel, but you won’t even be thinking about this. Moreover, what I describe as “regrettable cruelty” is a natural attitude for many women, and it is normal for them to sow discord among men. We see many males fighting for females in documentaries. During this process, the defense mechanism provided by spiritualism will a major support: “It had to be done.” When you are backed into a corner, you can always use this argument to make others shut up. I bet that those annoyed by my previous lines are appeased with this sentence: Spiritualism, while having some very positive aspects, may become a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands.
We have taken all the risks and put the other woman first. How does everything else develop? What has to be done? To be honest, you don’t have to do anything at all, because everything will develop spontaneously. After a short while, it’s very likely that you will find yourself in a situation you would never have predicted. I know from experience that to have affection for the best friend of your “close friend” can put that girl into a situation where she asks herself, “Are you doing this intentionally?” In another experience, I fell in love with a pretty girl who rejected me for months, but when I started a relationship with another girl this changed. We bumped into each other somewhere, and I was holding my new girlfriend’s hand. After that, the girl who had rejected me started to send me messages, as if she had been in love with me all the time. (Incidentally, I sang a classical Turkish song to her on the phone titled, “Daha onceleri neredeydiniz?” or in English, “Where were you before then?”) I experienced this situation many times, and each time I was surprised.
In short, you can transform the, “I loved; I wasn’t loved, and I couldn’t love the one who loved” situation into a position of, “the one who wasn’t loved is loved thanks to the other one who loved.” In the meantime, don’t ever forget that the question, “What is ‘conscience’?” is a way of life for you and many women, and we can say a woman is equal to easing one’s conscience. For example, a woman who says, “My appearance is not important; it is my soul that matters” when you ask for her photo on MSN can still ask for your photo three days later and say, “It was different then. :-)”
What if She Already has a Lover?
Another situation: The woman you want already has a boyfriend. This is actually an easier situation than the one we explained above, even if it tarnishes your image to steal another man’s girlfriend. If you are determined, here is a tactic that is tried and tested. I haven’t practiced it personally, but I have observed it in many ways. First, as always, we don’t hint at our intention. This is like washing fruit and vegetables before eating them. Women have an automatic defense mechanism that gives out the, “I am not an easy woman” message to deter men who show their intentions, so you have to take subtle steps and not rush in, especially if the girl has a boyfriend.
The strategy you will use is based on the universal “divide and conquer” tactic. You first have to get closer to her and gain her trust. With the spiritual woman, you should patiently listen to her; let her do Reiki or so on you, let her tell her anguish—the anguish of this species never ends. Be the one who is always next to her and be her support. When she trusts you enough, she will naturally start telling you about her boyfriend. Because there are problems in every relationship, her intention will be to get opinions from you as a man. At this point, it’s time to act, and without her noticing at all, you can start planting the seeds that will make her question her relationship with her boyfriend.
Never say blatant things like, “He’s worthless,” as it will trigger her defense mechanism. As I said before, womankind is a species that needs self-approval, so she will immediately start defending herself. If she hears something like:
“He looks like a decent boy, but everyone has problems. I believe you can overcome them together. But what can you do? Even if the harmony is perfect now, you can both change at some point, and it will cost a lot in the future. You should determine these points from the very beginning. I hope you will be very happy together.”
She will say, “Oh, you’re really sweet.” But, I have to say, this path needs patience and can take a while. As she gains trust in you, her stories will become more and more personal. If you are clever enough, you can do your work easily. Meanwhile, her boyfriend will become suspicious and angry. This is womankind thinking they should share everything with their boyfriends, so they do. I have to remind you once again that if you spoil things and present yourself in a “nonsexual” position in the eyes of the woman, things will turn out bad for you. A clever man, while playing the game appropriately to the rules of friendship, is a man who can give the message, “Look little girl; there is an eligible man in front of you.”
While maintaining this relationship, you should take her out often, so her boyfriend gets even more suspicious. When they have an argument, you should put everything aside and go to her, hug her. This will comfort her. The more suspicious her boyfriend becomes, the more he will try to curtail your relationship with her. I suggest you hope for this, because at that point, she will be only a step away from coming to you. The spiritual woman is a liberal type and will react immediately to being restrained. She chose to come to this world, and who can interfere with her choices? Some, even if they accept this at the beginning, will rebel after getting advice from their social circle. Suddenly, she will be faced with two choices. On one side, there will be an intolerant man who tries to restrain her all the time. On the other side, there is a receptive one, who is always beside her and has become a real friend to her. After having a big argument with her boyfriend, she will automatically call you and say, “If your invitation for the weekend is still valid, I would like to come.” Even if you haven’t proposed anything, she will say, “Shall we meet?”
From this point on, you have all the control, and you can push her boyfriend as far away as you want (but be subtle). Throwing carefully planned phrases like, “I didn’t want to tell you because I care about you, but this guy is bad news” into the conversation will bring her closer to you, as will the receptive, clever, and powerful image of you that you have created in her mind. After this point, if you don’t behave foolishly, such as by removing your mask too soon, you should be enjoying your new lover.
There are many women in the world, enough for a thousand lifetimes, but frankly none of them are any more special than many others. Plenty of women are very special, and I personally don’t believe in relationships built on manipulation. After all, many people unconsciously live situations like the one described above, and this is called a “process.” The difference between a “process” and manipulation is the “consciousness.” As I always say, the best thing is to let things flow and trust the universe to bring you together with your “proper” mate. If you are still desperate and insist on saying, “It has to be her,” that’s your choice. Don’t blame me anymore.