We hear a lot about sexuality, don’t we? We ceaselessly think and talk about it, one way or another. In effect, sexuality is the main force behind almost everything, from selling products to choosing our clothes. It even affects the books we like to read. You can easily see how true the slogan of “Sex sells!” is when you take a glance at modern advertizing.
Now, if you really believe this kind of sexuality is only applicable to ordinary people who have not encountered spirituality yet, you need to reconsider because sexuality is a major driving force throughout people’s lives whether they are acquainted with spirituality or not. Why on Earth wouldn’t it? People really don’t see their error when, after taking up spirituality, they think they’ve abandoned their old ways and believe they see sexuality from a different perspective. This mistake has a pretty simple explanation, though: If sexuality were just a question of perspective, then people with a spiritual approach to life would indeed see it from a different perspective, but unfortunately, sexuality is not a matter of perspective and not a mental matter.
Sexuality is a force that arises from our energy of life, our bodies, and our hormones, and it directly influences our emotions and thoughts. This force is so powerful that the carnal energy of women during their menstrual cycle nearly drives them crazy. For that matter, men also have another sort of sexual cycle from time to time, and they are also driven crazy during those periods. It’s such a potent force that it can cause women to be drawn to more macho and manly partners at some times, even if they are attracted to more feminine or tender men at other times.
So, whether a woman fell in love with a man during her period or not conveys what kind of a man he is. You hear some men talking about their partners being in their periods when they first got together, with others saying it was just before or after the period, and they consider it a coincidence, but this is selling it short. It’s as if a man doesn’t even realize his partner being in her period relates to his own energy. Besides, these men are not even aware that they have a sort of “period” themselves. People, whether spiritual or not, unfortunately have no idea how to use this energy. This information is so important that those who possess it have preserved it in strict confidence down the ages.
How Can We Know a Fact Inaccurately?
Sexuality, like most spiritual matters, is relayed by popular literature and the “populist tutors.” These convey the most accurate information in the most inaccurate way possible. What am I really trying to say with this? Let’s take the example of Kundalini energy. Be patient here because this explanation will take a little time, but we’ll soon return to the topic.
When the Kundalini energy manifests itself, it may create Samadhi, a sort of enlightenment situation, and it rises through the spine from the root to the crown. This is true so far, but tutors are mistaken if they tell you that you can awaken Kundalini energy in a single weekend by having someone hover their hands over your head or by using certain breathing exercises. The tutors are right when they tell you that Kundalini rises through your spine, and the same goes for the breathing exercises and the Samadhi experience, but if you question whether the “hands” method is right or not, the answer would be a big no. What’s being told is right, but the method is wrong. What’s more, people who think they have stepped into the spiritual world learn incorrect information by spending a great deal of money on this kind of flawed study. They start to consider someone just as uninformed as themselves to be a teacher. So, what then? It creates many adverse effects, both mentally and physically.
These effects have many consequences, such as altering the hormones and brain chemistry in the wrong ways. What do you think happens when the brain chemistry is altered incorrectly? You can discuss it with a psychiatrist if you really want to know, because they can explain it more thoroughly.
So, what is Kundalini, really? It’s a form of energy created by joining the male and the female energies, or yin and yang, in the body. Someone who claims to be on the spiritual path will immediately tell you, “Well, isn’t it true that yin and yang, or the contrasts, coexist?” There you have another wrongly known fact, because no, they don’t coexist. They come into existence dependent on each other, but they have a tendency to push each other away. If it was otherwise, the light and the dark, the above and the below, and the woman and the man would coexist as one, which, as you can guess, is not really possible.
Think of it this way: You’re in a room, and its floor is one with its ceiling. It’s both light and dark everywhere (rather than dark is some places and light in others), both hot and cold, and so on. What’s more, you’re also a hermaphrodite. Do you think all this is possible? No, it’s not.
The energy is joined in this infeasible way at some point during spiritual studies, and the seemingly infeasible energy produced is called the Kundalini. It usually happens at about the 18th level in Taoism. To put how advanced this is into perspective, the 4th level is the first step to immortality. It’s correct that the Kundalini rises through the spine, but there are seven layers that surround the spine, and the Kundalini arouses from the middle layer. To make a comparison, the voltage of Kundalini energy would be 10,000 volts compared to our household supply of only 220 volts. Hence, we should first improve our power line so it can tolerate the higher voltage if we intend to use it at home. Otherwise, the system will burn out.
Now, think about this again: Can you really awaken your Kundalini over a weekend course? Alternatively, assume you did succeed. Can your system really tolerate it? Come to think of it, too many facts in spirituality are known inaccurately, and these facts are being consumed like prescription medication without consulting a doctor.
Misunderstood facts are also present in other areas of sexuality. Let’s sort through some of the incorrect ideas that are considered right, as well as some correct facts. This article won’t cover everything related to spiritual sexuality of course. I may touch upon the same subject in future if needed, but I will just briefly mention some common misconceptions and facts at the moment.
A strong intellect can harness sexual urges. We can transform our carnal energy into other forms of energy.
False. Carnal energy is out of our minds’ control. This energy certainly affects our minds, but the intellect is simply inadequate at influencing our sexual energy. As I remarked earlier, women and men have times of low and high sexual energy, namely their sexual cycles. These cycles are not determined by our intellects, but the cycles themselves define our mental conditions. We’ve talked about women in their menstrual periods usually being more emotional, tense, or energetic as an example. This is certainly a rough generalization, because every woman has a different metabolism and reacts differently to her menstrual cycle. It is similar for men, too.
The cycle of high and low sexual energy eventually makes us buy into different approaches about life. We might become quite positive and sanguine but at the same time aggressive when our carnal energy’s at a high level, while we might behave calm and peaceful yet sometimes depressive when it’s relatively low. As I’ve said before, it’s better to analyze an individual’s body composition to make a solid interpretation. Your worldview and philosophy is influenced by whether your environment allows carnal energy to increase or forces it to decrease, just like the differences between the philosophies of the north and warmer countries such as Thailand.
For this reason, some meditation and energy work may need to be done at specific times of the year. For example, the practice of charging the physical energy and planting the seed for spiritual development, which is called the “100 days,” is usually practiced at the end of the fall or the following winter. This is because the carnal energy is relatively low in wintertime, and to decrease sexual energy even more, meat consumption and sleep is reduced. People tend to use scents like incense to relax the mind. The mind cannot influence sexual energy, but sexual energy can influence the mind.
What’s important is the beauty of the soul. Love is above sexuality.
False. The person we get into relationship with will have a stronger personality when our sexual energy is on the high side and a meeker one when it’s lower. Even though our partners appear to be flawless at the time, the person we deem perfect was only someone who was compatible with the condition of our sexual energy at that time. As the condition of our carnal energy changes, our approaches to our partners also change. Even what we consider love is nothing more than the inducement of our carnal energy. I’m not saying that the love doesn’t exist of course. Love certainly exists, and it is one of the major elements of a relationship, but it’s not above sex and never will be.
Sexual techniques and positions are essential for a good sex life. The more we know about the Kama Sutra and similar teachings, the more we’re able to succeed at sexuality.
False. First of all, the Kama Sutra is not just a collection of sexual positions. The Kama Sutra, although it does include some sexual techniques, is actually a guide to what a man and woman should and shouldn’t do in a relationship. This book includes many subjects ranging from make-up to the arts, as well as documenting certain types of women (although most of it is surely only applicable within India) and men.
Sexual positions are not a primary requirement for good sexual intercourse, because sexuality is not a technical matter. That said, there are numerous sexual positions that are used as a kind of therapeutic method. In a similar manner, there are positions that some individuals may or may not prefer, and it’s not possible to say a certain position will work for everyone in reaching a climax.
Men cannot offer their partners an orgasm because of their insufficient knowledge of women’s sexuality and their neglect in prioritizing them.
True and false. Yes, most men lack knowledge about women’s sexuality, but the same thing goes for women and their own sexualities, as well as the male side of the equation. Basically, men are not solely responsible for their partners’ orgasms, just like every ejaculation doesn’t result from an orgasm. A man lacking the patience to allow his partner to climax is certainly an unfavorable situation for the woman, but there are other factors. If the woman’s genitalia is cold (meaning it lacks energy in that area) or the muscles related to the genitalia are weak, then it will be hard for her to climax, or even impossible in certain situations. If the woman possesses enough energy in her genitalia, then she will experience multiple orgasms frequently, and even the man’s patience may lose its significance. The orgasm starts immediately and comes in succession for such women.
Of course, handling the subject of sexuality solely in the context of orgasms might imply that the orgasm is a reward. Not every sexual intercourse has to result in an orgasm. For example, in situations where the mind is serene and peaceful, the intercourse itself might be much more valuable.
With Taoist sexual practices and so forth, it’s possible for men to orgasm without ejaculating, so the ejaculation should be stopped.
True and false. It’s certainly possible for men to orgasm without ejaculating, but the error here is that ejaculating and orgasm are not the same thing, so most men just vanish off the face of the earth assuming that ejaculation equals orgasm, just like many women go through their whole lives without ever having an orgasm. It’s possible to have an orgasm with or without ejaculating, but our subject is to do it without, so let’s dwell on this for now.
Again, some popular authors steer people to false information about having an orgasm without ejaculating, as if it is a gift to the western world. First of all, if a man hasn’t reached a certain level of energy development, it is decidedly harmful for him to avoid or suspend ejaculation with muscle locks or by interfering with the vas deferens with hand pressure. Taoists believe that everything has a natural flow. For a man, the natural flow of making love is ejaculation. When the urge to ejaculate begins to stir, the brain issues a command via the spine to the related muscles to strain and then eject the sperm. If a man tries to stop this, the communication disorder between the brain and the body harms both the body and the mind.
For this reason, if you don’t do advanced energy work, you should ejaculate after making love. It’s only in certain situations that ejaculating might be detrimental for a man, such as if you’re doing some kind of spiritual work that requires you to preserve your sexual energy or if you’re ill. Women engaged in spiritual pursuits have no problems building their energy up, such as for the “100 days” endeavor, while experiencing climaxes from typical intercourse. Women don’t lose energy with a typical orgasm. On the other hand, bigger orgasms that cause vaginal fluids to be discharged would lead to energy loss, so a woman would need to avoid such heavy orgasms.
A man and a woman could transfer their energies into each other’s bodies and consequently attain an enlightened moment or cosmic orgasm.
True, but only when they know the method and are both on the required level.
There’s a couple of methods by which a man can avoid losing energy during sexual intercourse. The foremost of these is to sustain the energy in the central energy spot, which is just around the heart. If successful, he wouldn’t lose any energy despite ejaculating. However, proper training is needed to do this successfully. Another way of preventing the energy loss is to strengthen the lower energy spot, so it can conveniently suck the energy back up, but this is at a fairly advanced stage. A man at this level could also suck up the energy of his partner. This kind of ability is mostly tested like this: The man puts his penis into a container filled with water and sucks up all the water with his penis.
As ridiculous as this may sound, it’s still one of the classics. It’s the manifestation of a man’s force of energy within the lower muscles and the lower part of the body. By increasing this force, the energy is also increased, the lower energy spots are strengthened, the energy loss during sexual intercourse is prevented, and, above all, a man and woman with the same ability can transfer their energies into each other. If only one of them has the ability, then this person could, depending on the force of their energy, suck up their partner’s energy like some sort of vampire, leaving the other depleted.
For a person of this level, sexuality and orgasms lose their importance as we know it, and each sexual act is experienced as a Samadhi or enlightenment experience of some sort thereafter.
People who attain the spiritual reality lead a life without sexuality.
False. Many people on advanced levels of spiritual reality still lead joyful sex lives. Spiritual evolution does not depend on not making love. In fact, many spiritual evolution cults, such as Tantra and the White Tiger, place a heavy emphasis on sexuality as a way to evolution. Spiritual evolution is closely linked with energy, and energy is closely linked with our mental peace. So, a life of celibacy might be more peaceful for some, but others may consider a monogamous or polygamous life to be more peaceful. These are not hard and fast rules, just as being vegetarian is not a prerequisite for spiritual evolution and can sometimes be harmful.
There are far too many fallacies taken as facts, as well as many unknown facts, about spiritual sexuality. Sexuality is necessary to maintain the existence of life on this plane, and this life is a great gift given by our parents that enables our souls to evolve rapidly. Just as we cannot blame them for giving us this present, we also cannot regard sexuality as something opposing our evolution. Sexuality is such a powerful force that it keeps standing out, just like trying to sink a ball in water only to see it pop out higher once you let go. For this very reason, many religious regimes that require sexual restraint are often the ones where sexual crimes and perversions occur. Again, if sexuality is not satisfied and wrongly approached, it may drive people to seek power and domineer their fields of influence. An accurate view of sexuality does pave the way for spiritual evolution, and it allows people to experience one of the most important things in life, love.
Despite there being plenty of things to write about spiritual sexuality, I constantly had to remind myself that this is just a magazine article. So many of the things I wanted to say had to remain unwritten. So, let’s do now what we should do at the beginning of everything: get in touch with our natures. We will not intervene with nature, even with good intention. We will follow the path of nature. From this point on, we will then begin our spiritual journey. We will let ourselves be at the most natural state of our beings, because we firstly need to find our most natural state if we ever intend to take the spiritual path. Let yourself express yourself in the most natural way. There a new way will surely be found.