(Be prepared for a true story that came to light thanks to regression therapy.)
Have you ever felt an intense contraction in your stomach? And following this contraction, have you ever overwhelmed by either one or several feelings of panic, fear, anxiety, rage, resentment, fury, violence? Following these, have you ever wanted to beat, even wanted to kill someone…blinded by rage and became even a stranger to yourself… uttered damning sentences? On such moments, have you ever used your tongue as a knife and opened holes on the other person… Well, I can multiply the simile of what could you do, following that contraction… after all, your ancestors have done more and worse across the history of mankind… but I must confess that I am the reason behind all of these… The shadow, the dark, the evil, the devil… I have many names… And now, you will read the story of mankind discovering me within…
Part 1
İzmir – April 14, 2014 Monday
Therapist asked the man on the couch, sitting with closed eyes. “Tell me, where on your body you feel a intensification?” This is –as the man came to know very well- is the beginning sentence of the regression therapy sessions they conduct together. However, he already had started to see the images before the therapist uttered the sentence. Besides, for the last few days, he had this black cloud hovering above his abdomen. He had termed this trapped smoke as spiritual methane gas. He couldn’t know what it really is but he had mentioned it to the therapist before they started the session. However, right now, the image before his eyes was a man being stubbed in the abdomen. He knew that the scene was in Italy. He knew that it was around 1400’s. He knew that it was a coastal town. Nevertheless, images were vague. He has having financial troubles lately and these images made him think “maybe I was a Venetian merchant and had some experiences there and this is the sign of it.”
He replied the therapist, “My stomach is contracting.” Oh boy, what a contraction it was, he was writhing on the couch. Therapist said, “Stay in this feeling.” It was easier said than done, he could barely breathe. He said “I am being stabbed at the abdomen.” Therapist took a stick and poked him in the stomach and asked: “How are you now?” Contraction was there but less intense. “Then let’s go to the life which is the root of this contraction in your stomach; are you ready?” said the therapist and counted. The man readied himself for the images to meet the Venetian merchant. When he heard the therapist’s “three” images started to flow.
Vatican – sometime in the Middle Ages
As cardinals converse among themselves, the Pope was watching the ceiling. What a magnificent scenery it was. What a grand richness. He looked at his garments. This papal dress is the version of the power clinging on him.
Power… Power… Power… All of his life, he had yearned for this. Desire for power had started very early within him; as he was a young boy, abandoned in an orphanage. Later, church embraced him and with his intelligence, he started to climb up the ladder fast… from a hamlet church to the leadership of the Catholic world… His journey continued many decades and now he was an old man but who cares. He was seeing himself as the power in embodiment. He could change the fate of countries with uttering only one word or send hundred thousand men to their deaths. He was wealthy. O, how wealthy he was. However his only drive was power; and the wealth was only a means to this end.
When he came under the protection of a powerful family, he came to find the wealth as well. The head of this powerful family had noticed the intelligence and the ambition of this young cleric and decided to patron him. They even erased his past clean; that powerful was the family. And one day, when this young cleric reached the apex, their investment would certainly pay back dividends…
Time had passed and he found himself at the summit of the Catholic world. He had deserved this position. He had worked hard. Oh, no! Not in the name of God. He had worked for himself only. God was only a means. He never believed, even cared about Him. His only drive was power and for this end, anything could be used; God was just one of these means. He had reached this point by using many dark liaisons -whenever it was needed- whether it be bribery, ousting or directly assassinating… and now he was sitting here with his white cape and listening the murmur of the cardinals… He was the power manifested in the world and he loved it…
İzmir – April 14, 2014 Monday
The man on the couch was describing what he’s wearing and what he’s seeing around. Upon the therapist’s “three!” as if a tunnel had opened before him and he had found himself in a completely different place. The walls are magnificently ornate, just like the garments he wears… he said “I have a white cap on and I am a very very powerful man” and in a flash, he understood who he is and screamed: “I am the Pope! Yes, I am the pope!”
Vatican – sometime in the Middle Ages
As the conversation goes on, the withered pope was deep in thoughts about his past… Time to time he has been rejoicing by recalling the story of his arriving this point…but suddenly he also recalled his earliest church and the pervert priest. Throughout his childhood, he was raped by this priest and never cried for help. There was nowhere to go and nothing to do for him. Each time, he clamped down his teeth and waited for him to finish his business. However, he was making just another notch at the wall of his soul. And when he had power in his hands, at once, he had made him pay in gross total. First, he made him excommunicated. Then he ordered his men to gang rape him. He did not stop himself at this but sent the most reckless hit men of Italy out to dismember him to pieces. Ah, also, he fed the pieces to dogs and swine… If he could, he would follow him to the hereafter and continue to break him to smaller pieces but he was not sure about the existence of the hereafter and did not care at all. He had all the power in his hands, after all…
İzmir – April 14, 2014 Monday
“This man is pope but there is not a trace of light in him. He is pitch-black within. He is using religion to serve himself. He does not care anything else but power… Ahhh, such darkness this is!”
Vatican – sometime in the Middle Ages
And then he remembered his son. Mi scusi, his bastard son. It was the only point in his whole life where he felt differently. It could even be said that his son was his only soft spot. He had seen the mother while visiting a small town during his cardinality. The young girl was a well known healer in the area; beautiful and pure. Her purity had attracted him; he wanted to be near to it this or that way. However, his intentions were detected and rejected right away. When he had heard her question “You are a men of the Church, how could you?” his eyes had gone dark and he had left without saying anything further. Later on, he sent out inquisition officers for so-called witchcraft allegations; they immediately accused and imprisoned her. Exception was that she had not been sentenced to the stake; the cardinal had a business to do with her, she was sent to a big city to be kept in a dungeon and whenever he fancied her, he went there to rape her… with such a dark vigour and hate. A day came and she became pregnant. His usual way would be getting rid od her but somehow, something stopped him. He knew very well that this was a soft spot and there should not have been any soft sport in the path to power but somehow he couldn’t give the command to kill that woman and the child was born…
İzmir – April 14, 2014 Monday
“After the child was born, he did not want the woman anymore and arranged her death. He had started to take care of the boy in secret. That was the only crack in light in the life of the pope; the rest, whatever he did is all dark…
Therapist gave the directive to move forward, saying “Let’s go to the time of his death. Let’s see what’s happening.” Stories could go forever but the matter was to heal the blockages within the client, caused by the story, this is why the therapist would lead his clients not into the details of the story but of its most important episodes…
The pope is being stabbed in the abdomen. Two men at his back hold him and he is being stabbed… “Then let’s go to the moment after his death.” The man on the couch started to tremble, saying “No! No! I cannot die! I cannot die! I am immortal! They cannot kill me!” Therapist asked: “Did he leave his body?” “No! No! No!” Tone of his voice had changed now; he was growling with a hiss. “I am not dead, I cannot be dead!”
Vatican – sometime in the Middle Ages
As the blood gushing out of the pope’s abdomen was painting the marble floor a deep red, his soul was crazed. He was trying to enter back to his body; this way, that way… no avail! He was not aware of his surroundings. The only thing he wanted was to get back inside. There was no peace, calmness, lightness on him. His body… this was the only thing he longed for.
İzmir – April 14, 2014 Monday
Therapist asked “Isn’t he aware that he is dead?” Man replied: “He cannot accept it. He cannot accept death. He is trying to enter his body, he cannot and he practically gets mad.” “Then let’s go to his funeral, what do you see?” Images flowed fast… A grand, high flown funeral ceremony. Tens of thousands attend it. And he sees his son at the head of the coffin; he is a young cleric, climbing up the ladders. Then he sees the man who commanded his murder. That man will be the future pope and he is well aware of the bastard son. He will take the young man under his wings so he can utilize the fame and power of his father in his path to papacy. The soul sees all of these and gets mad because he cannot do anything at all…
“Let’s get him before us and tell him that this is all over now, you are dead…” He gets mad, he is crazed, he tries to attack me but he cannot… and at this point the therapist asked the magical question: “Look deep into his eyes, Hasan. Is he a past life of yours or somebody else’s?”
The man stopped. He knew very well what the attachments are from the previous sessions he had with the therapist. This was the foreign energies’ keeping a parasitic existence by feeding upon on other souls through a certain connection between them. Could this being who had been a pope in the past be feeding on his body? He faced the being, looked into his eyes and these words came out of his mouth: “No, he is not me. However, there is something at much deeper of the things we talk about. We are just wandering at the surface now. We have to delve in…” Therapist replied: “All right, we will go there but first we have things to do…”
Astral dimension – Earth time: April 14, 2014 Monday
He had remained closed in this dimension for ages. Some termed his place limbo; you have no body and your soul cannot move on… this is the field of suffering for the souls who over-identified with worldly illusions; and the pope had been imprisoned for ages in this dimension… If the term is apt, he became a ghost…
After quite a long time, he had contacted to a young boy. That boy was not aware of him but because of something the youngling carried from his past, pope’s energy was attuned to him and the pope had started to feed on his energy. And he had been kept closed within this dimension for such a long time that the energy he got from the boy was freshening. Secretly, he fed upon him for years… Nevertheless, the boy was a grown-up now and became aware of the presence of the pope. He even looked directly into his eyes, with curiosity and compassion… The pope was aware that something is changing… Everything is about to end and he cannot accept this…
İzmir – April 14, 2014 Monday
Therapist asked: “Hasan, look and you will see when the first time he came to your life was.” The man told the first reply that came to him, without thinking about it. He now knew very well that during the regression sessions, the first impression or thought that comes to mind must be stated without thinking on it and he said: “Five.”
“What happens when you are five, Hasan?” “My mom and dad were fighting again and this created a void in my energy field. And this…energy… had come and stuck to me… Besides, there are others, this is not the only one that attached to me. However, there are some things in the depths of all of them; we need to go there. This is only the surface of the seen…”
Therapist said: “Do not worry, we will go there. Now face the pope and repeat after me…”
Astral dimension – World time: April 14, 2014, Monday
The pope was hearing the background talk as he was looking at the eyes of the boy who was a grown-up now. He was in a violent resistance, saying “How could I be dead? I am not dead, I am not dead, I can go back, I can, I can…” However, as he saw the compassion in the eyes of the being before him, his resistance started to diminish. And following this, a sentence echoed in his universe, a sentence that changed the whole scene he was reliving: “Let’s invite everybody who was harmed by this being…”
Pontiff turned to his back and met the eyes of the millions of souls who were facing him…
İzmir – April 14, 2014 Monday
“There are millions of souls facing him, right now. They all suffered because of his decisions. Tortured people, soldiers in the Crusades, people who were killed in the wars, nations, women who were burned at the stake, people who were murdered because they were political opponents… There are millions of beings, facing him, right now…”
Astral dimension – World time: April 14, 2014 Monday
He bent his head down. He couldn’t face them. He knew very well what he had done. Previously, he would not even see them or feel their presences… but now, the compassion flowing out the boy he had fed upon for years was melting away all of his defences. Suddenly, he was on his knees and started to cry, “Forgive me!”
The mass before him was standing still, just looking at him… And then, a voice echoed from the background, as if it was echoing from the thoughts of the boy: “Now it is all over, you can go back to the source. It is finished now…”
Together with the voice, compassionate energy flowing into the scene started to increase and it was melting away all inertia; it was spread over the mass of millions like a shining light and shattered all patterns and moulds in between.
One of the souls at the front row took a step forward, towards the pope. While in his body, he was actually a friend of the pope, murdered through his hands. He bent down and took the hand of the pope, still on his knees. He helped him to stand and embraced him. At once, all other souls gathered around him and embraced him and each other at the same time. The mass had became a whole, just like sand particles that accumulated at a beach… soon a sea wave came and made the whole sand mass united with the sea… now all of them are ready to return to the source. Nevertheless, the pope has a last business to finish before he goes away.
İzmir – April 14, 2014 Monday
Hasan suddenly sat up straight at the couch. He turned towards the therapist and said: “Thank you.” This is actually thanks of the being who had been the pope, through him. The young man he had been feeding on for years and his therapist had released him and he thanked to the both. He bowed down before them in reverence and then, he returned to the source. Now, the story of the pope was complete…
Part 2
I have been in existence since the beginning of time. I have never questioned why I am like this. It is certain that I am made for things I should do. There was no need for further thinking and I did not think… I was since the beginning and will be until the end… within all of you… a little less in some of you and a little more in others, almost nil in some of you and almost the whole me in others…
İzmir – April 14, 2014 Monday
Hasan was at the couch again. The pope had happened to be gone perhaps but underneath, in the depths, he was feeling a more intense energy and he repeated to the therapist: “We need to go deeper…” “All right, go deeper, what happens there? Go deep into this intensity and feel it…” With this sentence of the therapist gateways of a completely different dimension would open…
Unknown Place, Unknown Time
It was darkest black… Pitch black darkness… This place did not look like the known world. As if it was a completely different planet. A planet, made out of darkness… Hasan was soaring and trying to find out where he was. The only thing he felt was the darkness and his presence within the darkness… He looked around. He couldn’t see a thing… but he was sensing… there were some things…
Therapist’s voice was heard at the background: “Then let’s go to the moment before death…” Hasan had mulled over it: “I died?” but heeded the directive and moved fast. He found himself in a body. This was an enormous body. This was a being who does not look like any of the beings that exist on earth. Surroundings were dark, again. And there were other bodies, enormous, all around him. They were attacking somewhere. Who he was, what these enormous bodies were, where this planet was… this point was not certain. The dark had covered everything and the answer was hidden in the dark…
İzmir – April 14, 2014 Monday
“I am wandering from bodies to bodies. Yes, I was in enormous bodies… but it does not matter at all… I exist in every crook and nanny of the universe. I exit from one body to enter others. I can exist in all bodies. I am dark energy. It does not matter which identity I take in. I did exist in this story from its beginning and I will exist until its end…”
Hasan was silent now and therapist asked: “All right, how old are you when this darkness entered your body?” Reply was immediate: “Three and half.”
“What happens when you are three and half years old?” “My mom… It entered me through my mom. The first person who cracked my shield was my mom and this energy leaked in from that crack…” Now he understood why he had troubles in receiving. He had opened himself to the being he trusted most but that being, albeit unknowingly, helped this energy to leak into him… The darkness was within him now… “Thanks a lot mom…”
Spiritual dimension – World time: April 14, 2014 Monday
Darkness was caught in surprise: one of the beings it has been feeding on had noticed its presence. Not only this, he also was staring at it. It had this situation once in a while and each time it had been caught in surprise whereas it had been concealed very well. Actually, most of the time it did not need to conceal. Even if its presence has been seen, most people would ignore its reality; all of them like to be fed by it and of course, it has been feeding on them. As the saying goes, “willing seller, willing buyer”; they keep on this symbiotic living. However, it has been noticed now and its reign over this body was dwindling.
İzmir – April 14, 2014 Monday
“Hasan, please stand before this energy and look at it and see what happens.” Upon the words of the therapist, reality started to change at once.
Spiritual dimension – World time: April 14, 2014 Monday
Again, Hasan opened his eyes to the darkness. It was pitch black all around him but his eyes was getting used to it. Gradually, pitch black was replaced by blackness and this was replaced by the dark. Later, he kept on by standing before the dark energy. Darkness had intensified before his eyes as if like a being and at the background of this being of darkest black, a sky -very deep dark blue- appeared. As if, from the further background some light was falling… but first, he directed his complete attention to the darkness. He looked into its being. He felt what it was, who it was, why it was and how it was. He felt the existence behind the darkness. He felt this existence in his own heart…
The darkness looked at him and he looked at the darkness… Now he knew why the darkness must exist. It was especially created and it will exist forever… It was too a part of the universal being and was doing what it needs to do…. in this way it kept on existing…
Eventually, the dark gradually started to dispel. Its mission has been accomplished. It was feeling that the being standing before him was giving a place in his heart and this compassion had diminished its power at first and then had triggered its essential being. And when the essential being is triggered, there is nothing not to be solved in this universe. This was the necessity of the universe’s constitution.
It now knew that it has to say farewell to this body. It had left to this body unforgettable memories, teachings, lessons and had helped it to grow up. And there were uncountable spirits in the universe to be helped in this way… And it dwindled, dwindled, dwindled…
****
As the darkness dispelled, Hasan kept on looking around. That sky of darkest blue was dark blue now and united with the earth. Now it was time to walk towards the dark blue.
İzmir – April 14, 2014 Monday
“As if I am inside the butterfly. I am at one of its wings now and I am moving towards the other wing… One wing is dark and the other wing is light… There is a veil of illusion, separating the two… I am walking towards the veil…
Spiritual dimension – World time: April 14, 2014 Monday
Hasan walked to and through the dark blue veil by ripping it… when he stepped to the other side, first, his eyes blinded by the light. He turned back and for a while, he looked into the scenery he got used to. That pitch black darkness was no more. Yes, the dark still prevailed inside but there was some light as well, like the sunshine coming in through the veil. He could see some movements up ahead but couldn’t perceive yet. Then he turned towards this new world he just stepped in…
Pristine blue skies and a greener than the green earth… As he looks at it is felt like desktop wallpaper: lively and freshening… And there were innumerable beings before him, made out of light… They had come to meet him… One of them approached and hugged him; then another and others, as well…
He began to walk towards this magnificent scenery… He was noticing that whatever he had strived for were in incredible redundancy, here… whatever one wishes for: abundance, fruitfulness, peace, joy, light, beauty? Whatever one needed was here, in infinite quantity and multiplicity… and here, nobody cared for possessing these. Everybody was celebrating the existence. They had ceremoniously welcomed him and Hasan was so happy as he was embracing each of them… and he could embrace them forever…
Then he heard a noise and turned back to see… Out of the hole he had ripped in the veil, people were coming… in groups, in processions… waves of people… and uncountable beings who waited for them were going to embrace uncountable beings who were coming from the other side of the veil…
All of them were becoming united… The veil of illusion had been ripped now…
İzmir – April 14, 2014 Monday
Hasan continued: “This veil had been shadowing, preventing the light; that was why the place had been so dark. However it is thinned now and as people go through it gets thinner…”
Spiritual dimension – World time: April 14, 2014 Monday
It was not too long before the veil started to collapse with a huge crash and just before it reached the ground, it was vanished… Now the light was spreading fast to all wings of the butterfly… There was no spot left in the dark in the other wing and Hasan let himself to lie down on the grass with contentment…
Somebody from the other side of the veil approached Hasan and said “Thank you. It happened because of you.” And he replied: “C’mon lay down on the grass. It didn’t happen because of nobody. Someone should do it and it happened. Let’s cherish it.” Together, they let themselves down to the grass…
******
Each of them was like sand particles in the universal beach… Innumerable spirits and each, like a sand particle, up on another… Together, they were like a sand castle made by a young child… and soon, a wave from the cosmic ocean came upon them… caressed the sand dune and slowly took it into itself…
So, one more story in the ocean was complete… Sand dune was flat now; sand particles were collapsed back to the beach with the blissful taste of the ocean…until the next story.
İzmir – April 14, 2014 Monday
“Hasan, when you are ready you can open your eyes” said the therapist. Hasan was already on his feet and ready to walk on. He was full of joy. Yes, because of the early experiences’ influence his body had met with various energies: parasites, darkness etc. But all of them are a part of the scenario… Everything had happened as it should happen, everyone had done as they should do… there was no anger, resentment, “why?” questions inside of him… he was just ready to walk in the life.
It may be that his childhood traumas hindered him so far but they were also necessary for his scenario… A few minutes ago, with the help of the therapist, he had cuddled and embraced the trembling five year old boy and made him grow up to his recent age. And this boy was now ready to walk on as a grown-up man. Smiling, he opened his eyes and took his first step in this new episode of his life…
