I’ve claimed this one thing all my life: I only work somewhere where I’m happy.
Anything I do, I do it because it makes me happy. If I’m not happy, I stop doing it. I move forward and follow my path elsewhere…
So many times have I listened to speeches on how hard it is to accomplish this. Various people say things like “That’s not what life is about…”, “Once you start working, you’ll see how happy you can be”, “Work is not about happiness. It is just work”, “You are being whimsical…”, “Hey, what is happiness, anyway? And you think you can capture it?”, and “Come on, you’re living in a dream world.” Well, you get the gist of it. Earning your way through life doing something that makes you happy is not a notion that people are accustomed to. It’s something that’s always very difficult to accomplish. Most believe it to be impossible for them.
Of course, I believed all those speeches back then. What can you do, after all. We’re only humans. Even though we know and feel the truth of things inside, we’re inevitably affected by the comments around us.
It happens to the best of us. So many people around me go to their offices complaining, trying to pursue a successful career.
I change jobs. Nope, I don’t like this one either, so I change jobs again. I shift to another industry. Then I have kids, and I enjoy being a stay-at-home mom. After a while, it feels like I’m not doing anything, so I go back to work. I work from home, and some of the things I do, I actually enjoy, so it doesn’t feel like I’m working. Even though I earn a living from these things, I don’t feel it’s work, because I’m eager to do it and actually enjoy it when I focus on these specific topics. This makes me feel that it can’t be called a job. They pay very little anyway, and I can’t possibly live on that income. So come on, I need to find a nine-to-five job and work, but it’s so freaking boring! It’s also difficult, and I feel like I’m suffocating! Well, but it must be good, because it pushes me. It’s hard, but I should bear with it. Be patient and work—there is no other way…
In a nutshell, this goes on like this for years. I am useless and unsuitable for a job. That’s what people say, but even worse, that’s how I feel. I wander around for some time, from one job to another, without a career or a title.
One day, I finally shout out, “Enough is enough! I’m done with office hours! That’s it! I quit!” But now I don’t have a job. As I try to figure out what to do, various opportunities suddenly appear. They literally fall into my lap. Naturally, I jump on them. I begin to do anything I can, anything I have talent for, anything I have the ability for, but which I get to earn a living from as well. It doesn’t make much, but what I need is always provided. Abundance is all around, and this is how I’ve been living for the past four years.
I still don’t have a career in the usual sense. People ask me what I do, and I tell them “stuff,” just “stuff.” I do many things, and there’s no one way to define it. I still have some reservations regarding this path I’ve been drawn to, and they still bother me from time to time, but I focus on them one by one. I solve each one in turn as I go along. I’ve become aware of many things regarding life, myself, and other people. I am enriched as I walk this path…
But without further ado, I had better say what I actually want to say. I recently realized there’s really only one thing that I do: I live.
What’s your line of work?
I live.
My career is living.
My title is Human, a human that experiences life.
When I look back at the things I did, I realize much has happened without me even being aware of it. As I thought I wasn’t doing anything, life happened. I always did what gave me joy, what made me happy, what made me feel good, and what I was drawn to. Without even knowing it, I practiced one kick ten thousand times. Then topics complementing each other came together in time and facilitated certain occasions and created certain situations. It all happened without me even realizing it happened, because I didn’t feel I was actually working.
They are all a part of my life. They all came to me because they are the things I am drawn to from the heart. This is also reflected in my kids and in my relationship with them. It is reflected in the things I do with them. It is reflected in the things I speak with my family and my friends and how my friends became my friends. It is reflected in my laughter and my tears. And all those laughs and tears are reflected in everything I do, how everything has come together, and how everything has become life…
Now, can you tell me that this is not a career?
Can you separate a career from a family, a family from children, children from school, happiness from unhappiness, and so on. Come on, separate them if you can! How would you achieve that? How would you include or exclude something? What criteria would you use? How would you divide life into neat compartments? What would go where?
As I turned 40, I realized that there’s only one career, if we must call it a career, and that is life.
To live is the greatest job we have!
It’s about looking at your entire life and being able to say, “Oh!” Even if you can’t, even if you say, “Ouch!” you should know that you’ve been true to yourself, your own wholesome self. You should grasp that you’ve done everything in your power to live and that you felt every single moment, every single breath you took, in that very moment…
So, why did I write all this?
I just remembered that I forgot that we must do whatever it is that makes us happy. Whatever gives you peace of mind, whatever makes you smile, should act as your compass. This weak sound inside always leads you in the right direction, even if you don’t know where to go. You don’t have to know it but just live it. Walk the path and enjoy the experience.
Basically, I wrote this all to remind myself…
..and to remind us all.

Guldehan Aysan