Love, as Freud once said, is the foundation stone of being human.

We want someone to laugh and cry with, share our best moments with, air our doubts to, and go off together with. In this complex and composite world, we look for someone we can trust, someone who fits our character. Despite the chance that it may end in a frustrating breakup rather than a happy marriage, we want it nevertheless. When we set up that holy bond of matrimony, we want it to last forever. We forget that marriage is also about learning from mistakes and growing together. We think that love is the only important factor, but reality soon shows up, and important questions arise. So, how compatible are you with your spouse?

A couple’s compatibility varies with their respective character styles, thinking patterns, and deepest personality traits. If the differences combine with an appropriate level of tolerance, compromise, stability, and trust, the compatibility will be better. Considering your partners needs when you supply yours, not speaking heart-breaking words during a fight, and most importantly accepting your partner as a friend with all the positives and negatives, needs, goals, and desires will invigorate your marriage. You should accept your partner’s life as it is and try to learn from him or her. The compatibility may never be perfect, but this shouldn’t be exaggerated, because none of us are perfect. We all have our flaws.

You may be surprised to hear that feng shui can be used to test the compatibility between the halves of a couple. The ming gua number used in feng shui analysis is determined by the birth year, and people are separated into east and west groups. We then define the favorable and unfavorable directions. Of course, people in the same group are more compatible, but there are remedies for those in different groups.
It’s easy to calculate your ming gua number:

First, add together the numbers in your birth year, for example, for 1955, it would be 1+9+5+5=20. If you get more than one digit, add these together until you get a single digit (e.g., for 20, 2+0=2).
For males, subtract this number from 11 (e.g., 11-2=9).
For females, add 4 to this number (e.g., 2+4=6).

If we get a 5, we make a special case. For males, we convert the 5 into 2. For females, we convert it into 8.

So, 2, 6, 7, and 8 are the western group numbers, while 1, 3, 4, and 9 are the eastern group numbers.

Within the same group, compatibility can vary between good, very good, and perfect. For different groups, it can be bad, very bad, or even disgusting. If you are compatible, congratulations, but your house has to be in the same group. In addition, differing groups may cause problems in marriages but there are cures and remedies for this. You can test the marriages of those around you like this, but don’t take it too seriously. Compatibility in marriage is about much more than numbers.

Sinem Oktay