Everything in the universe is continually moving. Everything is comprised of energy, and it all interacts with each other, forming systems in the process. Every tiny system then becomes part of a bigger system, and as we zoom out further, we see only one system that covers all the systems in the universe.

As human beings, the most relevant system for us is the Family System. Society, culture, beliefs, preferences, conflicts, and wars can also affect us all. Sometimes we cannot stop doing something that we do not want to do, nor can we always do something that we really want to do. There is something deeper than our logical minds. The subconscious and the collective subconscious controls almost 90% of our lives, and we find it so shocking that the mind is trying to control everything. This is the so-called monkey mind, the one that jumps, struggles, talks, and shouts, yet these efforts just make us sink deeper. Some things we quit, assuming that everything is our destiny. As the pain and discomfort increases, we find toys to distract us, like drugs, shopping, work, social media, games, and sex. All manner of fancy addictions may encompass our lives, such as being overly responsible, overly helpful, overly spiritual, and so on.

So, how do these subtle forces affect us? The Systemic Laws resemble Chaos Theory.

Movement and the Need for Balance

All the time, there is movement. Even though there is no constantly balanced position, the system always tries to balance itself. The main goal of the system is to maintain itself. The members of this system have a secondary level of importance, and there are no vacancies in the system. If something fails to join the system, or leaves it later, its position is filled with something else, generally from elsewhere within the system. For example, if a family father dies at an early age, the eldest son often assumes his father’s position. Such actions balance the system, but on the other hand, there is imbalance for the eldest son. Even though the son works through this problem, there will always be movement. So, even though the system is balanced, there will be interactions within the system’s members, as well as with members of other systems, such as neighbors, colleagues, and so on.

Cause and Effect

Our conscious minds work in a linear manner. The mind always tries to find someone or something to blame for the things that happen to it, but it mostly blames the self. But who is the self? Who is the one blaming? The systemic laws provide some hints for answering such questions. There is also an inner system within the mind, one which is affected by the family system and other outer systems. These systems’ dynamics are not linear, however. As a quantum physicist might say, “If you really want to understand how a cake is made, you should go back to the Big Bang!” There are thousands of reasons behind every event, and if you dig into an issue, you’ll trace it back to the earliest Homo sapiens. Searching for a single responsible guilty party represents a shallow viewpoint. The major issue is to therefore widen our understanding and start to see everything below the surface.

On the other hand, there is free will, even if it is limited, and this makes us responsible for our actions. We cannot change the past and the systemic dynamics we exist in. We are, however, able to change our way of looking at our destiny and making subtle changes. We receive from others, and we give to others. We are all connected to each other. We call this bond “love,” but this kind of love differs from the word we use in everyday conversation. Suffering results from the search for love and any problem with the bond, whether it’s too loose or too tight. If we do not avoid or hide from suffering, we will find the love that wants to be deeply balanced, connected but also free…

Deniz Öztaş