Meditation is somehow witnessing without judging.
Close your eyes. Take a deep breath and count: One, two, three, four, five…wait, my debts! I guess the credit card bill is due this week. Seven, eight…did I feed the cat today? Anyway, stop thinking. Take a deep breath and start again: One, two, three, four…Why hasn’t that guy called me yet? I didn’t mean to hurt him!…five, six…He should have known! Oh the hell with him! What can I smell? Is it vanilla or something else? It’s nice! Now inhale and exhale.
Hey you! Are you really meditating? Do you think you will reach Nirvana this way? Where did you stop counting? Was it from the beginning? One, two, three… Q
I know we all experience this sort of stuff while meditating and wonder if it is okay or not. Believe me, it is. Even ten minutes meditation a day changes the brain in so many ways. First of all, it has neurological benefits. It changes the grey matter volume in the brain, affecting the connectivity between brain regions. Meditation also helps reduce anxiety and depression, and you start to communicate better in social situations. You express yourself better and feel more empathy toward others. What’s more, because it’s a way of training the mind, it’s not surprising that your focus of attention starts to improve through meditation, so you become aware of how you concentrate better on your tasks.
Meditation is somehow witnessing without judging. Your endurance capacity increases, so you stop taking everything personally and start to see events from a wider perspective. Whatever you experience, awareness is always there within you. You feel deeply that you are not alone. On the contrary, you feel you are connected to everything and the One.
So, no matter how badly you count your breaths while meditating, or even if you start to question if you can even meditate properly, I recommend that you continue meditating. These thoughts are just the last tricks of the mind being played on you, believe me. Just keep meditating, and day by day, you will see the permanent beneficial effects of meditation reflect on your life, as I can attest to.