Nowadays, I am playing puss in the corner with God, and, I must admit, I am having fun. The only thing is it compels me to think. Until now, all my life I have considered the act of thinking as planning the next step. Now I am plunged deep into thoughts. I am contemplating.
This type of thinking can be eerie because it drags you deep within yourself. However, it also enables me to unwittingly surrender to the energy that tempts me over myself.
Surrender is a strong concept.
We have a simple contract with God. Normally, I never mention God’s name, except in the habit of certain cultural expressions. I had been very persistent in this, until I happened upon a series of coincidences that warranted surrendering. Then I ceased resisting.
The First Coincidence
When I was leaving my former company, I wanted to cash in my company stocks taken from Wall Street on my behalf. Somehow, I could not do it, partly because my inner voice whispered to me, “not yet.” The real challenge was how I would know when the right time to cash them was.
Then, some time ago, I was very short of money, so I decided to cash in my stocks. To be honest, I was not very hopeful. There was one problem: Although the stocks were at their highest value for two years, the total worth was not enough to clear my debts. Since I could not afford to wait any longer, I said to myself, “So be it” and pressed the button. After only two weeks, I was holding the check issued in my name. On the same day that I went to the bank to cash the check, the global financial crisis broke out. The stocks experienced a radical decline and a few days after my check was certified, the bank was blacklisted. Oh my God, that was close!
Have I mentioned God’s name? You know, I’m just saying it; it’s a cultural expression.
Then I waited for three subsequent legal processes to have the money in my account. The thing is, I was not quite sure how much I would receive, because you never know the amount of the intermediary’s share. At least I knew that I had done my part: I sold my shares before the stock values collapsed, and I certified the check. For the rest, “I let it be!”
Soon after the legal processes were complete, the money was transferred to my account. When the cashier told me the amount, I was breathless. Somehow it was just the amount I needed.
Previously, I would think to myself, “so be it” and that “happened.” Then, for the very first time, I said aloud, “Thank you, God.” While I was still considering this event, another incident happened.
And the Second One…
I had a few root canal treatments before, but I must admit, I am not a fan of dental operations. I had a fracture in one of my teeth, and I was delaying going to the dentist. But, as you know, the cosmos has different ways of teaching us lessons. For example, if you are a mother, the cosmos may use your children to teach you something. I had been postponing my dental problem for so long that I was almost ignoring it. One day, my son came and told me that he had toothache. Jackpot! He had a decayed tooth. God damn it (one of those cultural expressions again)! I could ignore my problem but not my child’s. What’s more, to set a good example and show him there is nothing to be afraid of, I had to go myself as well.
The next day, while on my way to work, I decided to consult a hospital in Bakırköy. Then, at the Office, rather than going to the hospital, I decided to ask to my friends if they knew a dentist in Bakırköy. During all this, I was thinking to myself and never said a word aloud. I am quite sure of this. The next minute, one of my colleagues came over and handed me a business card. Let me tell you the exact conversation:
He said, “Morning Müjde, I wondered if you needed to see a dentist in Bakırköy?”
“How come?” I replied.
My colleague explained further, “My brother is a dentist with a clinic in Bakırköy. He gave this card to me some time ago. It was in my pocket, and I knew that you live in Bakırköy. I thought you might need it.”
I replied, somewhat surprised, “Well, yes, it’s just what I need at the moment. I was looking for a dental clinic in Bakırköy. What’s the exact address?”
“It’s very close to X Hospital,” he explained. This was the same hospital I had been considering consulting.
It was too much for me. Last year I had physical issues, and I wondered if this year it was time for my mental health to decline. On the other hand, was I experiencing something similar to the movie, The Truman Show, where they are broadcasting my thoughts?
It was what it was, yet it was way too interesting. This coincidence set my way, and I decided that it was the right place. I took my son to the dental clinic without knowing how much it would cost. I paid only half of what I had paid to the hospital two years ago. It was a shock, which I put into words by saying, “Thank you, God!”
I am not embarrassed to say it aloud anymore!
Last but not Least…
After all those coincidences, the final one did not affect me at all. It was a mere favor of God to this mortal soul.
On my way back home from work, I stopped by the fish market and visited my usual fishermen’s counter to buy some fish. I gave my order. Although I knew the answer, I asked him, “You pick the bones out of the fish, don’t you?” To my surprise, he answered, “Sorry man, we’re way too busy today to do that.” Although I did not like his answer, I said, “Whatever. I’ll buy it anyway.” I paid him and he gave me the fish. I headed home, put the fish in the refrigerator, and that was that.
The next day after work, I took the fish out of the refrigerator to pick the bones out. Surprisingly, I realized that the bones had already been picked out. I thought it was my mother-in-law, who makes gestures like that every now and then. I phoned her to thank her, yet she denied she had picked the bones out.
Let me cut it short…
It may sound assertive, but nowadays someone helps me avoid global financial crises, finds dental clinics for me, and even picks the bones out of fish for me. A day comes and he reveals himself to us. Indeed, if we are careful enough, he reveals himself to us every blessed day.
Some people call him God.
Considering all he has done for me, I do not know what to say, other than:
“Thank you, God.”