What Have I Been Doing?

What a fool I have been, thinking that I could control my life…

Although I accepted that there’s a God greater than myself, I still refused to surrender to Him, wasting huge amounts of energy in the process.

Although I’ve witnessed the perfection in his system numerous times, I still kept trying to manipulate everything and becoming estranged from my own essence.

How I sinned, not knowing what it means to be “intimate.”

How isolated I became by resenting my own creation.

And to top it all, while claiming to look for love, I ran away from it.

Now I see God, as well as what I have done to myself.