Part One: Introduction
Opening yourself to new energy is like letting an interior designer remodel your house. The designer listens to what you want and then gets to work with his team. All your furniture is removed first, whatever it may be. As each piece is removed, the areas beneath and behind them are revealed. These are forgotten areas covered with dust. We are quick to cram our houses with stuff, but we leave the houses of our souls untouched. Because of this, our soul houses resemble our grandmas’ houses. If we were to enter them, we would realize that most of the furniture we thought ours were actually left to us by our ancestors. There would be furniture from grandpa, china from grandma, and a study desk from father. All that actually belongs to you is a few toys. These are the houses of our spirits, and we are so used to them being like this that when an interior designer starts throwing pieces away, it tears us up inside.
You protest, “Oh! Not that! Those were my grandmother’s curtains!” You remind them how you only put them up because she criticized you for having uncovered windows. The designer insists, however, that once they take over, there is no way out until everything has been changed. He will have to remove these curtains because they simply won’t go with the new design. The same applies to your grandpa’s armchair, which you used to jump up and down on. Your father’s study desk, from where he used to claim that life requires hard work, also goes.
The architect removes all the furniture, and what you see are termites nibbling away at the soul of your house. The woodwork is ripped off next, and then the disinfection team arrives. While disinfecting the house, the work crew comes across many hidden corners containing forgotten old toys, photographs, and other memories. You once loved them dearly, yet you were too scared to share them. Unbeknown to you, the interior designer will send these to be restored, so they can be displayed in a glass cabinet in your newly remodeled house.
Right now, this is what many of us are experiencing. We invited the new energy, and the interior designer has taken over. At this moment, either our furniture is being thrown out or our houses have already been stripped to bricks and mortar. We want to see the plans, but the designer tells us, “Trust me! I know you so well. You’ll love your new house and won’t be able to get enough of it, but if you interfere with the planning, you might not be able to grasp it. You should just enjoy it and leave us to do the work.”
We have been taught to not trust authority. We’ve had previous experiences of experts ruining our houses, but this one is different. Within his essence, he holds a part of the soul of the creator of the universe, the galaxies, and the planets. You can easily let go.
Let’s see how our house will be when the project is complete. I personally wonder about mine. It’s stripped down to the bricks now. As they work inside on it, I go through the old stuff they threw out. Before saying goodbye to them, I wonder who gave them to me and how they’ve affected me. No matter what I thought about them, I’d used them for years. They deserve a thank you before letting them go, but I have no intention of putting them back in the house or spending any more time with them. I see them and give thanks for the many years I spent with them. I hear the designer telling me, “Say your goodbyes and then visit the sea. Go swim! Your house is by the sea, and you haven’t even realized it. Once we’re finished, the landscapers will take over. We’ll tackle not only your house but also the environment you live in. You didn’t invite us until now, but the time has come. We will pursue our task while you go swimming.
Part Two: Love’s Room
I started touring the house of my soul with the interior designer. He took me from one room to the next. There was a new energy where the interior designers had worked. They changed all there was. I could feel them entering every room, every corner of my life. First, they threw out all the furniture and stripped the walls down to the bricks.
As we toured the house, we came upon a closed room. It was entirely untouched. I was surprised at this and wondered why they had left it. The designer said, “Everything is done step by step and in due course. You know we first ask you to enter the room and show us the inside. We then show you how you decorated it and what you felt inside. Then it is our turn. You have lacked the courage to enter this room so far, but the time has come. This is your room of your relationships, or alternatively, the room of your loves.” I felt a pang of sorrow upon hearing these words. What a paradox! It was love’s room, but instead of feeling joy, happiness, and beauty, I felt pain.
The architect opened the door, and I stepped through it. It had large windows without curtains, and it reminded me of an abandoned summerhouse. You know what I mean, those houses where the furniture is covered with sheets to keep the dust off, and these sheets were very dusty indeed. It looked untidy as the sun shone through the huge windows. Many dusty photograph albums lay around the room.
The architect smiled and said, “At least there’s no curtains. In many of the rooms we entered, the curtains were tightly closed, so we couldn’t even see what the rooms held.” He then took one of the albums that lay by the stairs. The room was split over two levels, and you reached the upper portion over three steps. The designer explained, “When we’re complete, this part will be beautiful and feature some sexy armchairs. We’ll also widen it. You’re probably wondering how we’ll do it, but leave that to us. This will be a design for the structure of your soul. There will be a wide window, because we want you to take in the sea view. You’ll be able to enjoy it with the one you love. Just to make you feel at ease, we’ll use some soft, decorative curtains. I know you’ll never want to close the curtains, but it will make you feel secure…”
He then started flicking through the album. He said, “Hmm, she’s pretty. How old were you then?”
I answered that I was 23.
“Nice photos and nice memories. How do they make you feel now?” he asked, “The pain lasted long after the relationship finished. The room is full of photo albums of various sizes, and all of them probably remind you of pain.”
I stayed quiet. It was an absurd situation. There were many tender moments in this room, yet I felt only pain, and I had no idea why it hurt so much.
The designer smiled and winked. He said, “Don’t worry. Nobody knows, but let me give you a hint. Remember your relationship with your parents. Beneath all your relationships lies your feelings for them and your interactions with them, especially your mother. Probe deep into this.”
I asked him what he planned to do with the albums. I wondered if he would throw them out like he did the furniture. He replied, “No. We will dust them off and move the photographs to newer albums. They are your memories, and they are what made you. The furniture we can throw out because they are just mementos from those you loved. They have become your beliefs, and it is time they were replaced, but you can’t get rid of the things that made you.” I wanted to ask why it still hurt so much, but he continued as if he had read my mind, “Probe deep and ask yourself why the memories still hurt. Embrace the emotions there. Once you deal with the emotions, there will be no pain. All that will remain are snapshots that will make you smile. You can’t throw away the past, because that is just escapism. Only when you embrace them will the painful energies leave you. “
He then picked up a closed box. I shouted and begged him not to open it.
“I see. A past trauma, a quite serious one too. You know what’s inside?” he asked. I told him it still hurt, and he said, “I’ll open it up, and together we will face whatever is inside, even if it hurts to do so. This is a tremendous story that you will one day write about. Whenever we enter a room, we search it thoroughly, so there will be no negative energy left. You know what follows next?”
I was still under the effect of the box and just shrugged my shoulders. He looked at me and said, “It’s love! You don’t believe it, and lost for words, you flee from it, yet it exists. I’m not talking about something holy here—I’m talking about the love between two human beings, a feeling that changes your entire view of the world. It’s a wonderful feeling that makes you act strangely. We love designing this room, because we know what will be experienced in it.”
There was hope in my eyes for a moment, along with a little surprise. I asked him how long it would take. He just laughed and told me, “One step at a time. Go out and walk by the sea. Maybe you will find it there. While we prepare for it, go now and live it. Afterwards, you’ll carry it in your soul and live with it forever.”
The designer winked yet again and said, “Come! I have many more rooms to show you and many more stories to tell, but for now, go out and feel the sunshine. We’ll be here.” I looked at my room one last time before leaving, knowing it would be beautiful when I saw it next.
Part 3: Saying Goodbye to Our Past
I was really mixed up. I needed answers and couldn’t find any. Moreover, I couldn’t grasp the situation. I had chosen the new and left myself to the flow of the universe, but why was I unable to let go of the past?
Or rather, why was I still questioning my choice. A friend of mine, who wanted to quit his job, was complaining, “I can’t leave despite handing in my resignation. My employer won’t let me go. I don’t know what to do! Maybe I should just stay…”
Another friend had decided to sell his company, but last-minute complications prevented him from going through with it, so he was left with the burden rather than enjoying the vacation he had long planned. He was questioning his decision and saying, “I wonder. Maybe it would be better to keep my company and try to proceed with my other plans as well.”
In fact, everyone who had chosen something new was facing the same dilemma. On one hand were the logical decisions, and on the other hand was the new life we wanted. Why were we all experiencing this dilemma? What was it trying to tell us.
The designer was asking if I had said my goodbyes. I was astonished, but he said, “Don’t be surprised. It isn’t enough just to receive the messages—you also need to say your goodbyes. This is the only way you can accept the new energy. The things you call old now were once new—they were the dreams you wanted to come true. You made them come true and lived them. The truth is that you were living them because you imagined them, but you soon forgot this. When they ran their course, you only felt their weight. Just imagine yourself picking up your young daughter and carrying her on your shoulders. Both you and your daughter were very happy in the beginning, but soon you started to feel her weight. How do you tell her when it’s time to put her down. Do you firmly tell her that she’s too heavy and needs to stand on her own feet, or do you gently tell her it’s time to walk hand in hand because her father is getting tired?
It’s your choice, but the first option will eliminate all the beauty you shared that morning and hurt your daughter, while the second option will win her heart. She will want to play many games with you. Our dreams are no different to this. They are like the daughter you carried on your shoulders, and when you feel their weight, you can lay them down with a kiss. When you do this, new dreams will take their places and play with you, but if you break their hearts, the new dreams will be reluctant. An example of this is how you came into being. You wanted to come to this planet, and you needed a special mother for your experience. You imagined it when you were a soul, and this is exactly how it happened. You wanted a mother who would let you experience what you wanted, and that is what she did. She had to, so you could write these lines. Now you want to escape your mother in your subconscious. You are also angry and harsh. You put on an act, but you can’t say goodbye. You cannot thank her for all her contributions. You utter words, but you’re unable to thank her in your heart because you are still angry. If you want to bring in the new, you have to say your goodbyes.”
A question came to mind: “What if they are unwilling to say goodbye?” He gave his smile again and explained, “If you feel the thanks in your heart, be sure they will also be ready to say goodbye. The problem is you don’t know how to forgive and say goodbye. You fall in love and spend years together, and in the relationship you have different experiences, but when it ends, you blame her. You think she didn’t recognize your value, and the words you use are heart breaking. You hurt, but instead of facing your pain, you choose to defend yourself against it. Come! Let me show you something. Look inside.”
He took me to a room. The door was partly open, but he had to push hard to open it further. He said, “This is the room of your resentment. You filled it with the pains you couldn’t face. At least the door is ajar! We usually have to break it down to get in. Come and take a look!”
I entered through the half-opened door. There was no space to move inside, and there was a terrible smell.
The designer explained, “I know you want us to throw all of this away, but these are your dreams, your experiences, and your energy. If your finger became infected, would you have it amputated when it was still possible to heal it? If you had your finger amputated, you would end up with a fingerless life, because the cause of the infection would remain with you. So, we’ll clean this room, but we need you to forgive and let go. Then we can use your energy. We need energy for our tools to work, because even the best drills need energy to function, and you need to provide us with this energy.”
I asked him how long it would take once the tools had energy. He laughed and said, “I love the way you leave things to the flow. You say you will go with the flow, yet you keep on asking us when things will be completed. This prevents our work. We are not designing a kitchen for your summerhouse. We are rebuilding your life. We are rebuilding it with your energy, your dreams, and your labor. We are doing it because you asked for it. You want it to be finished as quickly as possible, but you first need to embrace the past. Let me show you an example.”
We entered another room. There were workers inside, but the room was untouched. The only furniture was a red armchair. The designer picked up a hammer and banged it against the wall. As I looked surprised at him, he said, “It didn’t even crack because you haven’t embraced it yet, and that’s why we can’t start work here.”
He then asked me to follow him out of the room as the workers removed the armchair from it. He closed the door behind us before opening it again. The armchair was still there. He explained, “As you can see, it just won’t stay out. Our tools just won’t work, and this is because you won’t let go of this room.”
I wondered what the room was, but again he anticipated me and said, “It doesn’t matter what the room is. We encounter this in almost every room, but since you’re curious, let me tell you. This is the room where you became aware of your existence. It’s empty, save for an armchair. This armchair is worn out, not from use but rather from age. We have plans for this room. In line with your dreams, we are going to design a room you will not want to leave, but first embrace the reasons that prevented you from using this room. Then leave us to our work. You don’t need to hurry or panic. Don’t try to accelerate the process. It will be done when it’s done.”
He then winked and said, “Help us by leaving us to our work. See you later.” Once he walked away, I was left to my thoughts, wondering what it was I couldn’t see and embrace.
Part 4: The Secret of the Greatest Power in the Universe
The reconstruction of the house was in full swing. Some rooms had been stripped clean while others remained untouched. I saw the interior designer in the distance instructing his workers. When he saw me, he signaled that he was coming over. He held two cups of coffee as he approached, although I had no idea where he’d got them from.
“I love this coffee. You should drink yours,” he said. I took the cup of coffee, which smelled great. He continued speaking, “We are in a different dimension, so let a little magic happen. Let’s take a walk. I know you have been dying to ask me something, so let’s probe into it a little.”
I looked at him shyly, and he laughed aloud and said, “I love that expression. You can change the world but not that shy look.” I asked him not to make fun of me while looking down with his superior ego. I explained how this was how I was and almost started to cry. “Your poor ego!” he said, “I just liked the expression, but why do you describe yourself like that?”
I bowed my head and didn’t want to walk further. My words stuck in my throat, and I was on the verge of tears. Then I did start crying. The designer explained, “You like this part, don’t you? The part where you get to be the victim.”
I started shouting for him to stop, “It’s easy to talk from high above. Come down and live like us. You walk around with your superior ego, but you don’t know what we go through here. Let’s exchange roles. You keep on lecturing, but if you have the guts, come down here.” I was really crying as I threw down the cup of coffee. I collapsed on the grass and cried like a baby. If he had tried to touch me, I would have grown angrier, but he just stood there and calmly drank his coffee.
“Is the drama over?” he asked, “I’ll light a cigarette if not.” What kind of a superhero was this? Did he have no feelings? “I’ve watched enough of this. Maybe we can proceed to somewhere else? Shall we?” he announced.
I wiped away my tears like a grumpy child, but I was offended because he didn’t move. I would not have believed he had a higher ego were it not for the look of affection in his eyes. Another cup of coffee appeared in his hand and he said, “We’re going to study a little grammar today. Are you ready?”
I stood up. Grammar was my most-hated subject at school. When I became the editor of a magazine, I had to study it for a while. But grammar, and why now? The designer sipped his coffee and said, “Kopi Luwak. The most expensive coffee in the world, but the Balinese people don’t know how to make it. We saw it when we were there last year. When we go again, teach them how to make Turkish coffee. The universe gave them the best coffee beans, but they don’t know how to make coffee. You will shortly learn the secret of life and the greatest power in the universe, and then you will lack for nothing.” I realized my mouth was wide open and closed it.
“Anyway, let’s begin,” the designer announced before asking, “Ayse loves me, and this makes me happy. Tell me which word is the subject of this sentence.” I thought about it for a second and answered that the subject was Ayse.
“Now what is the object of the sentence? By object I mean the noun affected by the actions of the subject,” he asked. I replied that it was “me.” He asked if I found this strange, but I didn’t understand what he meant. He continued, “Isn’t this the sentence of your life, through all the 36 years you have been constructing such sentences?”
When he realized I still didn’t understand him, he said, “What is normal about being the object rather than the subject of your life?” I became defensive again and objected. I told him I was the subject of my life because I performed all the actions. He looked at me calmly and sipped his coffee before continuing, “There are also conditions in your sentences. In the example above, it implies Ayse needs to love you for you to be happy, but there are other examples: ‘If I have money, I will be powerful. If I am successful, people will love me. If I behave well, others will accept me. If I win the lottery, everything will be mine.’ I could give numerous other examples. In some you will be the object, while in others you will be an empty subject. If you pay attention to it, you’ll see most of your sentences are conditional, often starting with an ‘if,’ and this is your life.”
I reminded him that he was supposed to show me the secret of life and asked when he would get around to it. He replied, “Whenever you start being the subject of your life. Whenever you start constructing your own sentences rather than using those of others. Only then will the power of the universe be with you.”
I listened calmly and asked him if he just wanted to tell me that it was already within me. He said, “You call yourself a victim, yet you are quite big headed. The subject of life lies in ‘I.’ First of all, don’t use conditionals. Construct your sentences like this: ‘I am happy because I am in love with Ayse.’ You don’t need anything to be happy, because love and happiness stems from you. You no longer need the sunlight coming from outside, because you are the sun of your life. Everything stems from you. You are the source. That is why you should be ‘I,’ and this is not hard to achieve. Just changing how you form your sentences is enough: ‘I am happy. I am in love. I am calm. I am rich. I am one. I am powerful.’ Mentally note this down and know that you don’t really need whatever you add to the ‘I,’ because when you take them out, all that is left is the ‘I,’ a single syllable. This is the greatest power and the biggest secret in the universe. Whenever you are the subject of your life, whenever you are the ‘I’ of your life, you can change your life completely…”
I was staring at him like a simpleton as I held the coffee cup in my hand. He laughed loudly when he saw my confused expression and said, “That was simple, wasn’t it? But everything is actually simple. Come, let’s walk to your house together and decide which sentence you want to display on the walls of your house.”
I suddenly murmured, “I give myself to the flow of the universe and for the good of all…”
His eyes shone as he said, “That’s a good start. Those words will not last you a lifetime, but I know you will construct more sentences. What’s more, your sentences will affect others and inspire them to write their own life sentences. I love how you learn so fast.” He then walked away, leaving me to follow in my dazed, bewildered state toward my house.
Hasan Sonsuz Çeliktaş
The Wise Search
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