The Soul Mate Phenomenon
Every utopia is in fact a truth remembering itself, and the utopia of soul mates is very much like this. The desire to reunite, the search, the longing, and the hope are all evidence of a preexisting utopia.
Everyone wants to find the ideal mate and be loved by somebody special in a special way. Everyone wants to be happy, to love, and to be loved, and this is often the subject of poems, songs, novels, and stories.
The peace that comes from looking into the eyes of someone familiar, the pride when noticing you’re desired, the warmth flowing from the hands, the conversation and understanding, the attraction of the skin, the admiration, the good feeling, being able to laugh at the simplest things, the sense of security from supporting each other through difficult times, the endless enthusiasm, the insatiable love making, the satisfaction in every moment of life with them, the feeling of being like one person, and the children… Their tiny hands, small lips, and warmth that heats your heart. Here is a utopia!
And the journey to reach this utopia: the trying, the heartache, the disappointments, and the jealousy and anger.
An important condition for happiness is to find a mate, while the other is to work. When we have found both our mate and our work, we have progressed quite far it seems. Finding a soul mate has been very important lately for people involved in spiritualism. As someone obsessed with this matter, I suffered for it and found my soul mate. I have a few things I would like to share.
The first important point is to stay determined and never go back, without concession and without losing hope.
I don’t know if it’s necessary to say this, but this effort can only be successful if we first discover ourselves and transform our negative beliefs about building a healthy relationship. In the meantime, to know which sorts of people are right for us, we need to make many attempts.
Then we need to love ourselves and embrace our unique being, reaching the beloved inside us. You need to be able to freely live your sexuality, free from all feelings of taboo, fear and sin. Know your life goal and be determined to walk on that path. Moreover, don’t let yourself get in your way.
Be able to stay alone, discovering your special talents and your special work, when coming to this world. Be free from social conditionings and patterns, and be ready for any kind of change when finding your soul mate. Give up on your habit of living with strict patterns and unchangeable rules. We should open our hearts wide, ready for lots of laughter, endless peace, sharing, and surprises.
I can hear you say, “Why does this have to be so difficult?”
Actually, there is another way: You can register with the soul mates reconnection department and wait patiently until they find an appropriate soul mate for you!
It is said that in the beginning, human beings had one gender. Supposedly, before the age of the Lemurians, the beings on Earth had just one gender. Later, an era of two genders began for evolution. It’s not bad at all, is it? Although there have no doubt been times when we object to this situation. Some people decide to live alone and say, “I don’t need a relationship,” but actually, these people (just like everything else) want this outcome. It’s like how someone who falls down deliberately doesn’t cry. Seriously, if we hadn’t known about how the reunion of two different energies created such great energies, we wouldn’t have made this happen.
The first step: pure intention and determination
Happiness, success, or peace doesn’t happen by itself or because of a blessing or coincidence. Finding your soul mate requires strict determination, effort, and experience. The first condition is to know that every search results from a power to acquire. If the object of our search didn’t give us an “I’m here!” signal, we wouldn’t have the desire to search for it.
The other condition is to remember that the universe is filled with limitless choices and possibilities.
In one of my seminars, there was a lady with a sad face who looked lost in her thoughts. When I asked her why, she answered me in a way I could have never imagined. Already there weren’t many good guys around, and now getting this special information was limiting the possibilities further. I said to her, “If there is just one person in this world, then all possibilities and tools are there for you, but you need to want and keep searching.” In fact, I see the truth of this thought every time.
It is necessary to search and not stop searching, and focus on the goal without tiring or losing hope. Moreover, after you believe you’ve found it, work on making this relationship better, because life is not searching for a result but rather an ongoing process. It’s a journey toward growing, and there may be stops on this journey, but there is no final destination.
Never without falling in love with yourself
After their very first sessions, some counselees of mine receive feedback from their peers, such as “What happened to you? You look more beautiful” or “There is something different about you. Are you in love?” I then tell them, “Yes, you are in love with yourself!”
It’s truly a sweet smile that appears on the faces of people who have freed themselves of their fears, unnecessary guilt, and excessive responsibilities. The tension on their faces disappears. When they stop unnecessarily judging themselves and realize how unique and beautiful they truly are, they create an aura of attraction. Their skin becomes brighter, their expressions soften, and their eyes light up. Their walk and posture changes. They become confident, attractive and sexy, which is what they are!
This is an essential precondition to finding your soul mate. In fact, it’s a precondition for anything!
If you constantly criticize yourself, if a voice inside you tells you that you’re inadequate and flawed, it affects your whole body and life. If you want to find that wonderful soul mate of your dreams, you must first become the you of your dreams.
First, look at how you define yourself. What is behind the sentences that start with “I.” Sentences like “I am clumsy” and “I am fickle” constantly tense you up, dry you out, and make you ugly. The electromagnetic field around you, the water inside the cells of your body, the subconsciousness of other people, and the universal intelligence gets this message and…
…they treat you in same way.
Never say anything negative about yourself, even to inanimate objects, because everything has a space to store information. It’s a contradiction to call yourself stupid, ugly, or unfortunate yet expect good things from other people, places (e.g., your work place), your body, and life in general.
When a counselee of mine told me she had looked at herself in the mirror and said, “You pig! That’s what you are,” I felt an ache inside. Her health wasn’t good, and her relationships weren’t any better. Even her child was sick. She remembered when she was young, her father called her, “my fat-nosed, big-eared daughter.” In fact, she was a tall, pretty woman, but her father had raised both his kids as boys.
Say positive things to everything about you, from your hair to the pen you use! Try this for two months, and if it doesn’t work, I’ll be right here!
Prejudices are walls stopping you from meeting
If you want to meet your soul mate, you need to write down all your prejudices down on paper and begin working on them. You may have a prejudice about age, such as that the man has to be the older one or that the age difference shouldn’t be more than ten years. You may have a prejudice about religion, cultural level, or social environment. Soul mates may be incarnated in different situations, so you need to destroy these judgments.
The need to be exactly like your soul mate is another prejudice. In fact, you are complementary to each other, and your differences are advantages. Another prejudice is thinking you will be transported to a magical world without problems or clashes. Yes it is often like that, but not always! It takes time to change the habits you carry from the past. Patience may be needed for the adjustment process. Your fears and flawed beliefs may get in your way, but you, as a person who’s solved these, know what to do.
Never without sexuality
Sexual energy is not another part of our whole energy but rather another name for it. If you’ve suppressed your sexual energy, if you have setbacks in living as a man or a woman, it means you will also have setbacks in being successful, peaceful, and healthy. If you’re a woman, it’s very important to wear attractive, feminine clothes and be well groomed. If you are a man, it’s important you educate yourself about using your power, be flexible in sex, and not be goal oriented. In fact, being well kept and clean is a must for both parties. Accepting sex as an act of worship and remembering that the bedroom is a sacred place increases the pleasure. And where there is pleasure, there is no unhappiness.
Taking care of one’s body, doing sports, eating well, and most importantly of all, leading a life in tune with life’s purpose, we can attract our soul mate.
Seeing sex as a duty, a tool of satisfaction for only one person, a sin, and a dirty job are the most serious obstacles to pleasure.
Discovering your life purpose
Everyone is born with a life purpose. Either they discover this purpose and live it, or they die without realizing it. This purpose is recorded in the subconscious, and you arrange your whole life according to it. The general purpose of life is to love, to learn, and to live love completely. Your private life purpose is a small goal in tune with this general purpose. Freedom, respect, understanding, flexibility, refusing injustice, and expressing creativity are just a few of these.
When you discover your life purpose, everything starts to click all of a sudden. A domino effect is begun, and all the pieces of your life find their places, such as work, relationships, families, social environments, health, your physical environment, and of course your soul mate!
Your life purpose is what you always wanted to do but were always somehow blocked. It’s what you need most but what you can also give the best and what challenges you but upsets you the most. It’s what you have always pursued but never reached. It’s what’s inside you, but which you’ve always searched outside for. When you discover it, everything finds its place. It is inside you. What you searched for has always been within your grasp.
A counselee of mine always complained about his father’s lack of understanding. Finally, we discovered that his life purpose was to understand. His father loved him, such as he knew how to, and he tried to give him good things as much as he could. What he did was what he could. That was all he needed to understand. Once he understood that, everything fell into place!
Follow the signs!
Life is really a big consciousness, and this collective intelligence communicates with us through events. When you intend to do something, this consciousness activates and follows a special path toward your intention, bringing you the result at the right time. The same thing happens when you want to meet your soul mate. Watching the following events carefully and being able to pass through the opened doors is necessary.
I remember I lived through a similar process. Everything started when I received an invitation for a conference in Izmir. I immediately responded positively to this invitation.
She was there that day, but I didn’t recognize her. She was a distant dream for me. Later a homeopath friend of mine gave me some medicine. I felt like a bird for a week. According to my friend, my system had settled during this process. Then I consulted a past-life therapist. I remembered there an oath I had taken in a past life. Later, I remembered the moment when I had seen her across a crowded room, and my body froze with admiration. It was just like the moment when Eros shoots his arrow, but I hadn’t stayed with it. Everything was really like a dream, and my soul mate was a dream specialist! I pushed and the doors opened for me, and gifts were presented to me. I listened to the voice of my heart, and I’m glad I did.
When you want to listen to your heart, just talk to it, although remember you will also hear influences from the outside, such as “She’s not right for you” and “We don’t like her.” These are the conversations you hear in your head.
Your intuitions reach you from a place further away than these, from the depths of your heart. We will call it your abdomen if you like. The area we call the “solar plexus” is actually where our big mind works.
When you have a problem, direct your attention there and focus on it with your third eye. Don’t think anything or speculate. Just stop and wait. The message will appear openly and clearly.
Beware! Your ego is an enemy of love!
Your ego, which creates the discussion, wants to escape the slightest confrontation, so it finds excuses for itself. It is ready to be angry, resentful, or blameful. Watch out, the ego is the enemy of love. The ego doesn’t much trust love and happiness, because once its heart has been broken, it generalizes it to everything else. It keeps saying it will always happen. It believes this, but you shouldn’t. Convince it that a one-time thing will not always happen. Talk to it and compromise. If you don’t compromise with it, it will sabotage and block you for sure. It does this very well. If you don’t make this conciliation at once, it will cost you a lot of time. It’s very good at finding excuses, saying things like, “I love my freedom too much” or “There’s no decent partners around.” You then sometimes become its instrument and proudly defend these views, thinking them to be your own.
When you are lonely, sad and troubled, know that it’s just this situation. Understand it. It just wants to protect you from danger. It doesn’t have bad intentions. Assure it that the danger is over. Write down its hesitations and fears in a notebook. On the other page, write your answers to these. Give it suggestions, because these will enable both sides to win. One side is the side who wants to find its mate and be happy, while the other side is the ego.
When the conciliation is over, you’ll see miracles happen because the subconscious is now free of the ego’s concerns. You have united the two, and all the doors start to open before you.
