So cold is the night sometimes…
Sometimes it is so cold, and it is so dark that you donot know what to do…
Your feel your heart freeze sometimes. You find yourself fighting all the world, you hate all. It is such a despair, a voice within tells you that the whole world owes us somehing. It whispers: “You are the only one in the world that seems to suffer, look, everyone else is having the time of their lives. Everyone else is more beautiful , more clever, more successful, more happy then you!”
That happens to all of us.
We pity ourselves… We hate all advice…
All we need is great hug, but we donot know where to find it.
We look for it around us, among our beloved ones…
We yearn for it.
We cry for a helping hand.
Sometimes we find it, sometimes not.
But I will tell you a great secret: all that we are looking for is within us. Looking for emergency aid at our entourage may help temporarily. Then the same feeling keeps on coming back enslaving us more and more each time.
The outcome of that coldness in our heart may be anger, or deep melancholy, or sometimes hatred… All of them are feelings that are too heavy for a human being, they are all feelings that make us ill at the end by being stored in different parts of our bodies as energy blocks.
Being someone who suffered a lot from such feelings for years, I know that there is a way out of that prison… The key to freedom is actually in our hands, we are born with it. We just forget where we hid it…There were so many outer voices while we grew up, that we hid it somewhere behing all those voices, all that we learned, all that we were taught…
But it is possible to find it again, all we need is a great will to find that key…
All those destructive feelings are great clues to finding it. Each bit of hatred, sadness is of great help, if we start remembering all we know from the birth. They all tell us to look at ourselves. They are great clues to thaw our heart. They all tell us that actually we donot hate the world, but we donot love ourselves enough…There is no outside help, if we go on waiting for it, we can wait a lifetime. The world owes us nothing, it has all the love that we need…
All we have to do is to stop that voice within us that tells us mean things. And for that all we need is to quiet our minds, that is why all the world is insisting on the benefits of meditation.That is a way of shutting that unwanted chattering. It may be difficult at the beginning, but all we need to do believe in its benefits, and insist on trying. It may take weeks, sometimes months, even years… But in the end we really start controlling that outer voice. The more it fades away, the more we feel comfort. It doesnot go away so easily, I warn you, it is so insistent that we need to be more persistent.
Once that voice starts to weaken, we are alone with a calmer “we”. There is no other voices telling that we are the unhappiest of all. Some of us are luckier to hear more of themselves, some hear less. But in the end, that regular practice of meditation is so reassuring, so soothing and calming that the recurrence of inner turmoil starts to linger. And once our soul remembers moments of peace, it longs for it more then ,t longs for anyone or anything else. That starts a new cycle within us, and all is reversed within…
Our heart recognizes that freezing feeling faster than before, and remembers that it no longer prefers to stick onto it, instead it prefers the warm, cozy corners and reacts accordingly, even before our mind interferes.
So warm the days and nights…With no outside help, all is handled within us…
We just need to beleive those who say that is possible…
I did. And I am thankful to them…
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