A few days ago, I was to meet with a friend. As I walked toward the bus stop, she called me to let me know that she had already arrived.

She had arrived earlier than we had agreed, so I also wanted to get there as soon as possible. As I waited for the bus, many cars passed by, most with just one or two people in them. I thought, “If I lived in a small village where everyone knew each other, someone would surely give me a ride to my meeting.” But what if someone I didn’t know stopped and offered a ride? Would I get in? If that person seemed trustworthy, why not?

Years ago, I was in Istanbul when all of a sudden it started to rain heavily. I had just got off the bus and was walking toward my friend’s house, which was in a large complex. It was quite a walk, and I would surely get drenched. In front of me, a woman was walking with a stroller. A taxi stopped by her and the driver said, “I’m going into the complex to pick up a customer. Please get in out of the rain. There is no need to pay.” The woman declined his kind offer, and then he turned to me and asked me the same question. He seemed sincere, so I got in and he drove me to the front door of my friend’s house. He tried to explain that he did not mean anything bad, and he could not understand why the other woman reacted like she had.

I trusted him, but the other woman had not. As a result, I benefited by reaching my destination without getting wet, and I had met a very nice person. Insecurity is what feeds capitalism the most, so it tries to increase it. We make most of our spending out of insecurity. Everyone in a family buys a car for themselves. We are convinced that we are not beautiful enough, so we spend money to seem more beautiful. As we do not trust ourselves, we try to cover this up by buying things to act as status symbols. We install alarm systems in our houses and cars. We think the traditional restaurants are not hygienic enough, so we insist on eating in expensive restaurants, spending large amounts of money on tiny portions. We believe that the more expensive something is, the more trustworthy it is. You can think of many such examples.

Of course, relationships also get their share of this insecurity. What is the chance of have a trust-based relationship with someone who has a mentality of not even trusting their parents, for example? Capitalism also feeds on this. People get lonely and try to fill the lack of trust with presents.

So, how can we escape this cycle? First, we should learn to trust ourselves and then the people around us. Yes, we may sometimes trust the wrong person and get hurt, but believe me, it’s better than living very cautiously all through life. We should be wary of people whom we do not know at all, of course, but we can still be more relaxed in our daily environment. We can escape the notion of not even trusting our closest friends and family. The most important thing is to trust ourselves, our beauty, intelligence, and ability. We do not have to look like a supermodel or obscure our faces with makeup. Each of us is unique, special, and beautiful just as we are. If you trust in this, then both your life and your spending will be more relaxed. 😊

İdil Göksel