You gaze into the eyes of a loved one. You’ve spent years longing for this union, to find her, reach her, and embrace her.
You’ve searched and looked for her in countless hearts, eyes, bodies, and smells. You hoped that it would be her every time. But it did not happen, even after reaching a certain level, and then came the rest, falling into an infinite oblivion.
But now you’re looking at her. She is there in front of you once again. You are melting into the ocean of your heart. It embraces your every particle, and nothing is left untouched. You are one with love in your beloved’s infinite heart.
Entranced by love, your body is busy releasing all manner of hormones that you’ve never heard of. Your eyes are different, like everything is different now, all bright and shiny.
You look at the dear people passing you by. Your lips smile differently, and your words enchant in a whole new way. Your dear friends treat you differently as well. “You’re different! What happened to you?” they say smilingly. You just lean your head back as laughter bursts out of you, but not for too long, though. How can you describe your state? Once you mention love, you’ll be told that it’s all about browsing Instagram.
Those poor souls not in love, those still looking for their beloved, think that’s all there is to love. Of course, you know they will also encounter this state one day. Once upon a time, you were just the same. You assumed that another person, another identity, another body, would present the offer of love to you. Haven’t you had many fights over something you thought to be love, demanding to be given this or that. But now you realize that was something else, certainly not love. You do not think the word “love” is enough to describe this state, where the smell of your beloved circulates through your soul….
You want to taste love. You extend your lips towards her luscious and moist lips. You kiss softly again and again, but not with greed! It’s not mechanical—it’s something else.
Your eyes to her eyes, your smell in hers, your lips on her lips, she whispers in your ear, “I’ve waited too long for you, but no longer than you’ve waited for me. I’ve always known that you would come to me, so I waited patiently. I watched the agony of your being all the while. I called out to you many times. I said, ‘I am here, my love, patiently waiting for you, longing for you with all my being.’ But your ears couldn’t hear me among the pain back then. I couldn’t reach you, yet I never stopped calling out to you. I knew you would come. We were promised in love’s breath…”
You inhale her aroma once more with a deep breath, your body trembling in awe. The might that has been sleeping within you all this time begins to rise and capture you. Your hands are merely feathers caressing the back of your beloved. You touch her with the yearning of millions of years. With your gentle touches, her breath quickens, and she opens herself to you. You know you are flowing into her body with compassion and love. You are not the only ones becoming one. You know that each and every cell in your bodies are uniting with each other. Trillions are becoming one in you and her. The two becoming one swim in an ocean of love and increasing sensuality.
Breath to breath, body to body, mind to mind, and soul to soul, you are uniting together and becoming inseparable. Why would anyone want to separate you anyway, if they witness this act of becoming one. You know that sooner or later, everyone will experience this as their bodies begin to tremble. All that is left to do is celebrate this love.
And now you are completely lost in your beloved, just as she has melted into you. Where does one start and the other end? You do not know. Is there a beginning and an end to any of it? You wanted to travel the universe, but you’ve come to realize that you are the universe. You are all the dimensions you mentioned. “What about my loved ones,” you say suddenly. You come to realize there’s nothing left in your being that you do not like, though.
The lover and the loved one, the masculine and the feminine, the Yin and Yang: There may be many analogies to describe you and her. Yet they all sound funny to you, so you just sway within the breeze of love.
This is what you desired, what you’ve always wanted. Now you’ve found her, you can stay here forever, where there is infinite trust, love, peace, and so much more. It’s all here! What more could you want? You are eternally thankful and sincerely satisfied right now. You let yourself go completely and surrender to what is.
You do not know how long you’ve been in this state, but you suddenly feel your lover’s hands touching you with compassion. You open your eyes, and there you are, eye to eye, looking at each other. You see her body and your body, and you’re a little surprised. Why did we separate like this and stop being one? You could’ve been one together forever.
She smiles once again, her tempting smell drifting over to you, and says, “Here I am, always, with you and with love.” But then some words that are difficult to accept enter your ears: “Now you must go back to earth!”
You want to object as soon as you hear this: “Why back to earth? Why? Why? I found you in this moment, so why do you make me leave again? Did I do something wrong? Why are we separating again? Why?”
Your breath quickens as you suddenly fall from there with fear, worry, and anxiety all attacking your body. But she touches you with compassion once more. This touch expresses trust, but why is it all ending? Why must you separate once again?
You lean into her ear and catch her smell—oh that smell! Are you to be deprived of it again! Your insides pain greatly at this prospect.
Than her words begin to pour into your soul:
“Never! There’s no more separation in the moment. I am here every time you use a finger. In every cell of yours there is my love. I have melted into your soul, and now you’ll see, hear, feel, taste, and smell me in your every moment on Earth.”
“You must return my love! You must explore every state of our being. We promised each other we would meet again, and you would return. Many lovers walked down this road with love and could not return. Yes, that’s a choice too, my love, to melt together into the ocean of love and stay there. But please go back and remind others about the path of love. Help those burning for love by telling them that their beloved is waiting for them in the eternity of time.
And say this to them: ‘Your beloveds wait for you in patience. They will celebrate your arrival but not regret your departure, because they know you can visit whenever you want once you know the way. They wait to see the world through your eyes. They have awaited your arrival for centuries, so you can explore life together’
Now go and live, my love, for I am always with you, always within you.”
These words soothe the fire inside, and your anger and awe back away. This was a different kind of excitement. Now you know your lover, your beloved one, is always with you.
And there’s a whole world to explore whatever lies ahead…
Hasan Sonsuz Çeliktaş
The Wise Search
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