Here’s a question: Does living the right kind of sexuality happen instinctively? Or do we need guidance from outside?
The idea of a “right” kind of sexuality can only apply when there’s no guilt, regret, disgust, feelings of contamination, manipulation, or power struggles. It should not focus on either yourself or your partner, nor should you consume or feel consumed. It can only exist when you release completely the belief that it depends purely on the result, relating sex directly to orgasm, and instead live the experience completely.
If you feel completely refreshed, renewed, accepted, understood, blessed, balanced, peaceful, harmonious, and sweetly ecstatic, you are probably enjoying the right kind of sexuality. If after sex, you stand in awe, feeling blessed and grateful for the mere experience, you must have reached the highest level of satisfaction.
With a sexual act, this satisfaction only happens in the nonjudgmental part of the mind that belongs entirely to the “self.” And yes, if you, in your mind, develop an understanding about your body and your desires, only then will the “spontaneity” appear.
The conditioned mind often controls the sexual energy, leading to pressure and stress. This prevents the body from relaxing and letting go. Taboos, fears, guilt, and shame about sex, the opposite gender, genitals, and sexual stimulation—as well as social, cultural, biological and religious norms—play a substantial role in conditioning the mind.
In a mind where there’s no pressure or stress, sexual energy transforms into a dance. It doesn’t matter what form the dance takes. It might be a waltz, a tango, or a traditional folk dance. No matter the dance, there will be a great harmony and rhythm.
The mind, once it is free from conditioning, accompanies its body into the universal music of that specific moment, by creating its own dance.
Any outside guidance should not be about the mechanical process of how you have sex but rather how to educate a sexually controlling and aggressive mind, because this is holding you back from your nature.