Everything is a whole with its opposite, and therefore continues to create its opposite moment by moment. What will happen if opposites accept/reject each other? What can we do to integrate the opposite sides?
Cave paintings before inscription, written history, and even religions, always mention the same combat/warfare/struggle. Good vs bad, light vs darkness, life vs death. Either you will exist or be banished. If you are on the good side, you exist both in life and in the afterlife; you have won a chance to exist and to continue existing. If you are not on the good side in life and the afterlife, you do not exist and you do not even have a right to it. The one who is not accepted/not honoured is treated as non-existent or absent. Pages of history is full of sayings to remind you of this.
The effect of “if you do not fight, you will not exist” is still present today and quite effective since the beginning of humanity. Everyone knows how pleasant peace is and wants its endurance; yet, war has never reached an end. And why is it you think?
The oldest symbol of the Yin/Yang, which expresses the struggle between opposites, today has become a visual theme known by almost everyone. People opine about it and even construct their lives on a meaning they could infer from the symbol.
According to the symbol, everything that exists is a whole and that wholeness is tied to the world’s law of poles. Everything that is bright, good, beautiful, intelligent and full of love are symbolised by the white part; everything that is dark, bad, ugly, ignorant, aggressive is symbolised with the black part of the symbol.
Bright side carries a dark seed, and similarly, the dark side carries a seed of the bright side. According to this balance, whenever the brightness enlarges, the darkness lessens and vice-versa.
When I first started working with the symbol, I was also opining according to the aforementioned (without looking inside of me and accepting opinions without debating); therefore, I used to think that in the moment of lessening and enlargement, darkness and brightness were proportionally lessened and increased. In the passing years, my efforts to yield within my thoughts and my other works have helped me notice that this idea might not be the absolute truth. Actually, I further embraced the idea that there is no concept as the absolute truth.
When I look at the same symbol now, I think that the enlargement of the white or black area does not mean they increase. Dilatation with increasing vibration to steal space can easily be depicted/painted as the enlarging white area in a two-dimensional image. If this is the case, there would not be a lessening of the other; instead, it would be a restriction of space, thereby causing a shrinkage.
You probably noticed I mentioned the concept of “stealing space.” This is not coincidental or a misuse of words. We clearly know that white can be a “thief” as well. The dark spot in white utters the fact that there is a seed of malice/bad in the white or to set forth the “good.”
Since the moment I perceived this matter, I have also started thinking that to take sides within the wholeness could only create a pressured and distressed effect on the other side. Furthermore, it is needed to achieve an identity and that identity must be valuable; this value can only come forward when its opposite is something invaluable. Therefore, everything is ONE and WHOLE with its opposite, and at the same time, its goodness gains meaning if its opposite isn’t as good.
When I adapted the understanding of Yin/Yang to human beings, I obtained interesting and shocking experiences.
Let me go ahead and share them with you.
The Good and The Bad
The need for a social identity, to be loved and to belong, urges us to put first whatever is “the good and the bright” accepted by society. When mentioned, we say we freely choose to be good; however, when I perceived this was not honest, I was shocked. For the first time, I perceived the dark seed in Yin so vividly and accurately.
It was almost like I slapped myself which would scar me for years. I even thought the good told about me was dishonest. Actually, it wasn’t that good either. Simply, I acted good, even though, I left places every single time a person/people negated me or what I said or my attitude.
It would not be appropriate for me to fight with those people, and after a while, debating the appropriate boundaries becomes impossible. As everyone is right in their own opinion, acceptance must be a condition for everyone. It would be considered stupid, blind or ignorant to keep quiet with arrogance just to protect those boundaries. How would I accept that? Therefore, one honourable choice was left: to quit and leave that place.
Since these people acted in such a manner, I would respond with “One Hundred percent YES to all that IS”—sometimes believing in it, sometimes hopeless and sometimes not fully understanding it. That was all I knew and in my efforts I was trying to look in this mirror. Even though I did not understand it, I knew it by heart: They suggested it and I accepted it. Although it might seem that it is enough to be aware, it was not enough. I could not change enough or in a manner to be able to remove that experience from my life One Hundred percent. To tell the truth, I was not able to understand why I was not understood, what I could not understand or see.
I kept on asking “What kind of mirror is this? When did I treat someone like this?” I kept wondering “where is my shadow I cannot see?” Yet, I could not escape the situation. Now, I do understand. Even though I was not like those people, I strengthened “not being understood” by judging their attitude and getting upset over the fact that they did not understand me. I did not allow myself to be not understood; therefore, I became more upset meeting my “disallowed” self and not accepting this fact was making me even more upset. They were saying that I was “allowed to be not understood and to not understand”; unfortunately, I could not hear them.
Since I refused to be “not understood and to not understand,” that part in me was growing and strengthening; it was trying to show itself to me. Imagine a student in a classroom who lacks the attention of their teacher. Like the student trying to show-off to the teacher by acting mischievously, the aspects of yourself that you have ignored will try to reveal themselves to you like they are outside of yourself.
Accepting and Rejecting
Now that I look at what I have done with my free choice, I have been inclined to be loved. I was using my “good and bright side” not because I felt so, but not to lose my right to belong and to be loved and respected. Recently, a friend implied that I was stupid by not agreeing with his opinion. I was brave enough to reply saying “I see you and I honour your being, I give you a place in my heart, however I do not love you.” My friend did not understand my words, he said I was contradicting myself as “there would be a place in the heart only to loved ones.” Yet again, since my talk with him, I have encountered fewer of his kind. When I accepted the fact that I did not love him and yet still honoured his being, all reflections about his attitude had been diminished.
All right, is it only me being hypocritical towards myself?
Whatever you reject/refuse will grow and strengthen, everything you accept will share its power and energy with you and will strengthen you. Which one of us does not have a killer, a liar, a wretch in himself? If a human being is the micro-cosmos, shouldn’t he also have everything present in the macro-cosmos? If not, can the macro-cosmos be ONE and WHOLE?
There must be equally present: fatness in the slim, badness in the good, sorcery in the healer. If not, wholeness will vanish which is impossible. Even the physically challenged, the one born with an organ missing, is ONE and WHOLE in their own nature. So, which part of us can be distinguished or lacking its own opposite?
To Forgive or Not
We said everything that exists is whole with its opposite. We can explain: Let’s assume that our forgiving, supporting, preserving side is strong. If seen from the perspective of wholeness with the opposite, our cruel, oppressive side will be as strong as the forgiving side. (If the forgiving side could be measured by pounds, its opposite, cruel side would be exactly the same weight. If the forgiving side is one pound, the cruel side will be one pound as well.) If we only put forth the forgiving side on the basis that it attracts love and respect and ignore our cruel side, the cruel side would be restricted and shrink—ultimately becoming stronger. In the end it would respond by saying “if you do not see me or accept me or honour my being, I will explode.”
When the explosion occurs, a person described as cruel, bad and traitor and who ignores the forgiving part in themselves, appears in the forefront. (I and YOU are ONE and I reflect in you.) The one we call cruel actually asserts: “See, I have something that belongs to you; it is not right for you to ignore it. That belongs to you and to your life. Now, I am sending it to where it belongs.”
In other words, that person explains: “You did not accept one of your parts—the cruelty. You sent it out of your body, your being. Everything must go back to its source. That part wants to go back to you and so, I brought it to you.”
If we refuse to see the message and get angry, the underlying message will become sharper. Every time we refuse the cruelty in us, it gets further stuck and the message gets sharper. Every refusal will result in meeting with mirrors, more cruel and brutal. Therefore, we will further embrace our understanding, loving and honest sides and we will exploit that side further.
Certainly, this happening could occur in every field of life. For example, if you are a person who acts and puts forth honesty and “hate liars and lies,” most probably you are exposed to many lies and you suffer the most from liars.
If your general attitude is generosity, sharing and consciousness of abundance, if you honour the bygones and welcome the future, if your motto in life is ” the dirt on my hand has at least been cleared now,” life most probably is carrying stingy people into your path and using you for material things.
If your feelings of revenge embarrasses you, you probably feel a great amount of guilt when you want to punish people who hurt you or act unfairly toward you.
Whatever we deny in ourselves, that thing specifically will appear in the attitude, body and language of people we encounter. If this cycle continues until the ignored side screams “SEE ME!”, then, a torturer will come out of us. It would attack the other in a way that even ourselves would be shocked. Did you mention insanity?
To Accept and To Say
So what is next? What are we going to do? Are we all going to express in action our inner desire for the cruel, the lie, the rape, the murder or the abuse? Are we going to create a world where killers are walking around freely or where the fear will take lead?
Of course Not. We need to abolish the consciousness of the separation that has been kept alive for years and years. To accept One Hundred percent YES to all that IS is ONE and WHOLE. To understand wholeness exists in us like in the outer world and each part we do not honour will harm our own wholeness. To accept that illness is an ignored thought, happening or feeling finding a place for itself in the material world. To be thankful for and to praise the fact that our body is offering us an undeniable piece of information about our inner world.
Send back to our minds the concept of the “ideal human being” who is only good, bright, sharing, honest, loving, compassionate, flawless and gentle. To send this concept to where it belongs, where we desire to be loved and accepted.
When reached, the concept of “perfect” in our minds raises the bar. Whereas, EXISTING is actually perfect in the way it EXISTS and maturation/advancement will only be possible when and if accepting this fact. I believe that seeing this fact, honouring it, accepting it and living accordingly will easily raise the bar for us all.
For this reason, I have used a simple and effective mantra for a long time and I’ve also benefited from it significantly: To accept what is happening and say One Hundred percent YES to all that IS. To not being loved, to be hungry, to be poor, to be fat, to be sick, to be an outsider, to be afraid to accept everything honestly that’s happening inside of us. To BE allowed for everything. To start saying “God will make us realize” instead of “God forbid.”
When Positive and Negative Combines
When opposites come together, they ignite and transform to light and heat. You can see this easily in every piece of electrical equipment in your house. When the electric switch is turned off, the circuit extinguishes the charge of (+) positive and (-) negative, you don’t see light and heat. As long as the circuit is turned off and the current not broken, heat and light exist together.
When you allow for your faults, you will constantly push your consciousness to the area of light and heat. Without even noticing it, light and heat will self-generate, the opposites will fight among themselves, and you will have provided yourself a source of energy without any additional effort.
For whatever angers you, say 100% yes, One Hundred percent YES to it, allow it. Giving in to your faults does not make you inclined to crime. Remove your worries about your faults when you give in to your faults. Allow them in all their ways. Only when you allow yourself your faults can your free will help lead you to do right and to stay “good.” Be good, not just for the sake of love, but because you understand you are ONE and WHOLE with the other.
Only when you dare to look in the mirror held by others and be grateful for it, will you no longer need this mirror. Rather than for respect or love, you still remain “good.”
One Hundred percent YES to All That IS
One Hundred percent YES to all that IS. One Hundred percent YES to not knowing and not learning; I am allowed to not know and not learn.
One Hundred percent Yes to all that IS. One Hundred percent YES to not to understand and to be not understood. I am allowed to not understand and not be understood.
One Hundred percent Yes to all that IS. One Hundred percent YES to not to love and not be loved. I am allowed not to love and not be loved.
One Hundred percent Yes to all that IS. One Hundred percent YES to judge and to be judged. I am allowed to judge and to be judged.
One Hundred percent Yes to all that IS. One Hundred percent YES to be excluded and to exclude people. I am allowed to be excluded and to exclude people.
One Hundred percent Yes to all that IS. One Hundred percent YES to dependence and to independence. I am allowed to be dependent and independent.
One Hundred percent Yes to all that IS. One Hundred percent YES to lies, to loot, to sickness, to be poor, to be fat, to crime, to not knowing, to not learning, to not understanding, to not loving, to not being loved, to be judged, to be excluded, to loneliness, to dependence and I am allowed to everything that EXISTS.
I thought of these as examples: Find your own exclusions and name it in the same way. You might have found my words unrealistic or even stupid. Let it BE, I am allowed to BE a dreamer, to say nonsense and to be stupid.
To tell the truth, even if you do not believe me, it works. I know because I, too, have started not believing, I tried and saw that it works. I would like to tell you “go ahead and try.” Who knows, maybe you too will experience the benefits.
One Hundred percent Yes to all that IS. One Hundred percent YES to be accepted and to be rejected. I am allowed to be accepted and to be rejected and even to be teased.
With deep love and light…
Zeynep Sevil Güven
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