Believing in the existence of a kindred spirit who’s been made especially for you, and waiting for a momentous meeting, is one of the greatest mistakes made regarding soulmates. This illusion threatens the relationships that already exist, and drags the mind between feelings of hope and despair, between the past and the future.

Everything and everybody is a potential soulmate. There’s no plan to maintain the integrity of your soul by saying that one person is more valuable or compatible than another. The belief of finding a soulmate is nothing more than a mere adaptation of the fairy tales we listened to as kids, the ones where the prince and the princess are reunited after overcoming adversity.

A soulmate could be any soul that you allow to become one. It is called the perfect marriage, and it occurs when you catch the moment, or moments, when you lose yourself and become one with the other in a state of meditation. Shape, gender, role, and identity: None of this matters. It doesn’t even matter if a soul mate is not a person. Once you become obsessed with finding a person, you miss other possibilities.

What you seek is merely a feeling of completeness, and when you stick with the people and situations that you experience this with, when you give meaning to them, you give your power and sense of reality to the outside. With the power you give, the mind makes the other person exclusive, but once it experiences different aspects of communication, the spell is broken. It then keeps looking for the next so-called one-and-only soulmate.

Once you stop doubting your own strength and uniqueness, you reach a consciousness of perceiving another with the same perfection. This keeps you within the same field of love, no matter what shape it takes. Rumi did not fall in love with Shams—he allowed the love in his heart to elevate and speak through Shams. Shams created areas where Rumi could experience challenges and the dismantling of the human soul. If that’s what you’re after, to meet with yourself, neutralize your ego, and become one, then let your Shams come to you. You cannot know who would be a Shams for you, who would make you feel the love that dignifies you, nor the difficult tests this person must take to reach you. You cannot know without surrendering.

No person will bring you love in the costume of a soulmate, because such a person cannot give you love. Love is already awake inside you, already in action, and it has created its objective outside. This creation comes from the unconscious, where all the mental criteria and spouse-selection programs run. What turns this into reality is a suitable one, but no one is sent to you from Heaven.

Love is the art of understanding and accepting yourself through another. It develops and reaches its ultimate goal. You experience another as a passage where you get to understand your own mysteries and open the locked gates in your heart. As you walk this path, without losing track, and without forgetting about returning to the self and completing it, you will never get stuck or deal with obsessive and aggressive thoughts.

In the general understanding of love, there are conditions attached to the person or not being left in solitude. Solitude is imprisonment, but freedom derives from the ability to be alone. There’s a huge difference between these two. You can enjoy being alone without becoming a prisoner of solitude. You certainly do not have to be a deranged lonely person. Divine love is always considered like this, but perceiving yourself as being isolated from everything around you is a gigantic obstacle to letting yourself love.

Tantra educates you to experience love over senses, and after gaining deeper senses (being rooted), you move forward and beyond. This presents a clear view about your spiritual vision. It helps you to feel the love in everything you do, taste, smell, feel, see, and hear. It helps you understand the divine inside yourself rather than searching for it in other places.

Do not limit your unique soul to some soulmate. Let your conscious widen, spread, and return to where it belongs, to its home. If there are some hands you still hold when you return home, this is called loyalty. It doesn’t matter what you do, where you do it, or who you do it with, as long as you do not give love to just one and withhold it from others, as long as the intimacy you have with someone does not create distance with another, as long as each decision you take does not mean abandoning someone, and as long as a union doesn’t cause a separation.

“What you hinder is no one else but yourself.”